Monday, March 7, 2011


You know, I'm a self professed bad teacher. I'm just not good at it. I have lots of talents (most of them have something to do with changing two diapers at a time), but teaching simply is not one of them. I've taken strides, however, to make sure that I teach my children the important things in life. That they are children of God, that they should be kind, to only buy things that are on sale, and so on. And every once in a while I get what I like to call a "parent payday" when the efforts of my tireless teaching and patience pay off. I got one of those yesterday. Now that Gwen is getting older we've tried to teach her about stranger danger and what to do if someone attempts to kidnap her. Yesterday, out of the blue, she wrote down a step by step plan for what to do if a "bad guy, or almost bad guy" tries to kidnap her.

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Because many of you aren't fluent in kindergartenese I'll first rewrite what she wrote with her own spelling, and then I will interpret it for you.

1 AKT lik u dum kid
2 Yel Help!"
3 puch the priuris if is u Boy if is u grle puch hr in the nipl

And now, for those of you who use regular English rather than phonetic English

1. Act like a dumb kid
2. Yell help
3. Punch the privates if it's a boy, if its a girl, punch her in the nipple

It's nice to know that she is retaining the important things that we are trying to teach her : ) Also how cute that she puts a dot in between every word, attempted to use punctuation, and...I don't know, she's just so darn cute. And don't you dare try to kidnap my kid, unless you like a good punch to the nipple!


Karina said...


Marcie said...

that is AWESOME-- it brought joy to my heart!

Scott Powell family said...

Seriously laughing so hard I'm crying. I love your blog!! Always a good cheerer-upper!

Holly and Brad said...

Oh my gosh Kristi--why did you ever stop blogging? I thought I had lost you there for a bit. Seriously your posts make me laugh out loud, or more appropriately Gwen makes me laugh out loud. Brad is preparing his seminary lesson and just asked me if I could be quiet in here! All of your posts today gave me a good chuckle.