Thursday, July 30, 2009


Pathetic fallacy. Ever heard of it?

It's when human characteristics are displayed in nature.

(Hello, Ms. Woodward? I may not remember the proper use of a semicolon but look at me pull out that writing device definition! Way to retain!).

Pathetic fallacy is what happened to me today. It rained for the first time in nearly a decade (or at least that's how long it feels like it has been). It rained because I am leaving Texas and the sky wept on my behalf. Or more likely - it rained because I had a photo shoot scheduled with Ralphie, and that is just how things are going with this move.

Check out the results here!.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Oaf

A couple of nights ago we had a girls night out in our ward. It was awesome. I was gone until 3 AM. Seriously. Anyhow, over the course of the evening I was just thinking of how awesome Blaine is and what a sweet life we have together. He's sensitive, he listens to me, we can have dep conversations, yadda yadda yadda.

The next night our move was weighing heavy on my mind. I was looking out the window at a beautiful sunset and thinking how much I am going to miss the view we have from our bedroom. A canopy of green trees, amazing sunsets and fireworks from the local baseball diamond.

My interaction with Blaine went something like this

*gazing out our bedroom window at the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen*

Kristi: "Sweetie, how come we never pop out the screen of our window and sit on the roof and watch the sunset together? Or the fireworks?"

Blaine: "Because it is bad for the roof"


Eat your heart out ladies because he is ALL mine ; )

Friday, July 24, 2009


Because I have been swamped with making life changing decisions lately and because I've have been making those decisions rather poorly, last week I decided I needed something really trivial to stew about. So even though our cruise isn't for another six months it became my life purpose to find a swimming suit for the cruise. I mean really, packing, cleaning and finding renters for our house can wait for another day.

Budgeting how we can afford to keep an empty house in Texas, an apartment in Utah and utility bills in, surely I can figure that out later.

We are hemorraging money but certainly that can wait for another day.

Who cares about that new traffic ticket (with three accompanying violations for missing insurance and expired registation and inspection!)?

Nevermind that the movers are coming a day late and thus eliminating entirely my cleaning day.

None of this matters because there are only 180 days left to find a proper swimming suit.

Priorities people.

I had it narrowed down to these three...

Choice 1 from Layers

Choice 2 from Lands End

Choice 3 from Girls4sport (hello modest!)

I just wished I could see them in person before I made a decision.

Then a couple of days ago Blaine and I had the chance to go to Schlitterbahn; while standing in line for one of the rides I noticed someone who was wearing swimmingsuit choice #2. I recognized the swimmingsuit from the back and I thought it would be a good chance to see what the suit looked like in person, so I tapped the shoulder of the person wearing the suit.

And around turned someone who had to be at least 65 years old, maybe 70.

I asked if her suit was from Lands End and she replied that indeed, it was. I told her that I really liked it and was considering getting it.

With that she looked me up and down and said, "you'll love's really slimming!"

And in one fell swoop I realized that not only do I have an undeniable muffin top but also the sense of style of a senior citizen.


Friday, July 17, 2009

Ten thousand spoons

It's been one of those weeks folks. You know the kind.
No I didn't murder someone in the garage. I guess that is something to be thankful for! I invited some friends over last minute for dinner. I had to run to the store to get spaghetti sauce (running to the store with my three kids takes about an hour minimum). As I was opening the door to unload the groceries...I don't know, the fates just frowned upon me.

A few days later I planned a giant playdate. You know the kind, where you send out an email to everyone you've ever known and tell them about the awesome fountains to play in downtown? You know the ones that are worth the thirty minute ride in the sweltering heat?

The best part of all is that last time I planned a giant playdate I had no carseats so wound up not showing up myself.

I'm glad some people still show up when I plan things!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The butterfly effect...

Have I told you about our duplex in Provo? I came home from Oregon for a long weekend to find a place for us to live upon our return. There was a little duplex on 9th E that had been remodeled on the inside, it looked great! I made the decision and looked forward to moving back to Utah to live in such a cute little duplex.

When we pulled up in our moving truck and opened the door to our new place Blaine was thrilled! It looked awesome. We went from room to room checking our new place out. Then we got to the bathroom. The tub was full, FULL of raw sewage. It was disgusting. We called the property manager "JR" who informed us that there wasn't much he could do about it until after the weekend.

So we turned off the water and had no water for a couple days and a tub full of raw sewage.

That was just the beginning.

Gwen was learning to crawl and as she crawled her legs and arms would turn black. The carpet was covered in a layer of grime that came off when crawled upon.

We were promised a storage shed...JR hired the drinking trio of hicks on the other half of the duplex to build it for us. He promised them a six pack of beer to build our shed. I remember the night they finished as they walked past our front door they said, "if they wanted a professional job they should have hired a professional".

It was miserable. We had signed a year lease and we were in pure misery living there.

The ceiling started bulging with water from a broken pipe and mysteriously a brown stain was mutating in the corner and getting bigger.

I told Blaine we had to get out.

Then by a strange string of events we got an internship with IBM in Minnesota...the only stipulation? We had to be there in the beginning of January. We were in the middle of school, the middle of a contract for the worlds worst apartment and we had a trip to Disneyland planned.

Plus, who in there right mind would live in Minnesota? I mean did people even really live there?

Then a light clicked ...moving to Minnesota meant leaving the death trap that was our apartment and the fuddy duddy landlord (who on a recent call to ask him to fix something pertinent, like our water when it got shut off because he hadn't paid the bill replied..."I can't do everything, I'm only one person").

So we went for it. We moved to Minnesota.

I think you know I loved it there, that isn't the point of this post. While there a new family moved in. The Worthington's. They had a little boy about Gwen's age and we met them at a dinner at a friends house. Katie was a riot. I wish I could go into more detail but suffice it to say that at our first meeting I came away thinking she was awesome, but that our personalities weren't a very good fit.

Little did I know! Katie and I hit it off smashingly and what's more, our husbands and kids got along great as well. I have awesome fond memories of Katie! But that isn't the point of this post.

When Katie heard I was moving to Round Rock, TX she mentioned she had a friend who lived here. She suggested I give her a call to find out what neighborhood to live in. I didn't want to call some random person! I could find my own place!

After having lived here for about a month Katie encouraged me to look in my ward directory to see if her friend per chance was in my ward. I looked and her friend's name was in my directory! I hadn't met this person in church but figured I would give her a call and see if she and her family wanted to come over for dinner.

Turns out they had been visiting family for a while but we scheduled a time for them to come over once they got back in town.

It was weird inviting someone over who I had never seen, but if she was good enough for Katie I was certain she was good enough for me.

And guess what I saw when I opened my door that night to meet my friend's friend?

And I've never been so grateful for raw sewage!

Monday, July 13, 2009


After the "BC" incident I changed the settings on my blog to make it so it wouldn't appear on search engine searches. I recently lifted the ban and have found it pretty interesting to see how people come across my blog by googling...

some recent google searches that led new visitors to my blog ...

"can a chiropractor straighten my nose?"

Fabulous idea! Hadn't considered going to a chiropractor!

"giant bump on my tailbone"


"married to genius"

And Blaine on several occasions has accused me of making him sound like an oaf on the blog!

and my personal favorite

"some guests have come in to my home in the absence of my parents, what can I do?"

What, you missed my post on what to do during a home invasion?

Please feel free to contact me regarding any of these issues that I am apparently an expert on. I have some excellent game ideas for guests that may come to your home in the ansence of your parents, and hop on over to my recipe blog so you can make them some feta chip dip!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I hope someday you get the chance!

Someday I hope you get the chance .... to live like you were moving!


When we lived in Portland for four months in the summer of 2005 we lived it up every single weekend. The beach! The museum! The zoo! Anything anywhere was game. Every Saturday we were up early doing something fantastic. We didn't clean the garage, didn't do laundry, didn't repair drywall or weed or mow, we lived. From the moment we got there it felt like a ticking bomb...14weekends, that's all we had to live it up in Portland and we couldn't waste one second.

We did fairly well in Minnesota too...though there weren't quite as many attractions to go see, there was still plenty to do. So we hit up the Mall of America, Douglas Park, Como Zoo (?), we even took a weekend trip to Duluth and one to Wisconsin.

There is something about having an end date that creates a sense of urgency in our lives.

As our time is ticking to an end here in Texas we find ourselves frantically trying to pack in as much as we can. It's made me realize that, having no end date, we sure have wasted a lot of time! How have I lived here for two years and never swam in Barton Springs, or hiked in Perdanales Falls? Why haven't I visited Hamilton Pool and how is it possible that though I have made dozens of trips to Zilker Park I never knew about the awesome splash fountains there!

It's KILLING me.

I am doing the best I can with what time I have left and with all the gumption I can muster dragging my three compadres with me everywhere.

What is extra killing me is when I tell people what we've been doing and they haven't even heard of it though they've lived here forever. I was chatting with a lady in chick-fil-a the other day (note: I am seriously going to miss having a chick-fil-a on every corner when we are in Utah! There's only like two in the entire SL valley. Sad times!) who has lived here her whole life and has never gone to the Brushy Creek Sprinkler park. Hello? Free entertainment. Free! Cool, refreshing entertainment.

So here's a little exercise for you. Close your eyes. Are they closed? Good.

You are moving in thirty days. That's only FOUR weekends. What do you have to do? Where do you have to eat one more time? Who do you have to see and hangout with? Go do it for crying out loud! The lawn can wait. The lazy afternoon at home can wait. Go google your city and read the ten things you must do there and then go do them.

Maybe you will live where you live for the rest of your life. Or maybe something will come up and you will be leaving in thirty days, or a year. Or maybe you are going to keel over tomorrow and not have another weekend even.

I know it is hard to put your life on hold, but at least do the exercise, think about things you would miss or love to do and go do them, maybe one a month or something. Just live it up!

And coming up next.... a post about our staycation! Complete with stock photos from google images because our camera was broken and the new one we ordered didn't come until after the staycation. Grumble grumble. like you are moving!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Greetings from the cave!

Monday 3:45PM

Blaine's new employer e-mails request for Blaine to sign paperwork and fax it back on Tuesday


Blaine prints and signs said paperwork and asks if I can find someone who will let me use their fax so we don't have to spend $5 faxing papers (again)

Tuesday 8:00AM

Kristi's facebook status : Can I use your fax machine?

Tuesday 3:00PM

The overwhelming response to Kristi's facebook status: Get out from under a rock. Who still uses fax machines? Just scan it.

Kristi has no scanner.

Jody says I can use her fax

Kids are sleeping

Tuesday 5:00PM

Kids are screaming

Tuesday 9:00PM

Email to Jody: can I use your fax tomorrow morning?

Wednesday 8:00AM

Email from new employer: Hello, send me your fax!


Email from Blaine: Hello sugar lump of love. Have I told you how skinny you look? Oh and also could you please send the NOW?

Kristi is busy at the sprinkler park, and going to lunch with Ralphie


Kristi receives email from Blaine + 2 other similarly worded emails from Blaine. He's starting to sweat it.

Kristi emails Blaine: Don't sweat it, I'll do it! Swear. After Ben's nap


Wow, Bentley is taking the worlds longest nap.


Call from Jody: Um, it has been 36 hours since you said you were coming and I actually do have a life and have to go somewhere. (note: she said this way nicer, like "if you still need the fax I can wait for you to come!")

I decided I may as well just wait for Blaine since he would be home soon and no sense lugging three children around, so I was going to miss Jody, but Jeannie said she had a scanner I could use, and I would be sending it to California, so I still had an hour and a half until business hours were over.


Go to Jeannie's


Can't get Jeannie's scanner to work. Looks like I will need to fork over the money to kinko's. Darn. But wait! Jeannie has a friend who has a fax (who coincidentally lives next door to Jody) and who is out of town but Jeannie has the keys!


Me, Jeannie + Jeannie's posterity, who are fevered and not feeling well, climb in the car.


We break into Jeannie's friends house


We break Jeannie's friends fax machine


We try to fix Jeannie's friends fax machine


We explore Jeannie's friends house looking for a scanner


We see strange man in Jeannie's friends backyard stealing her pool toys, except they were his pool toys, he is just a neighbor.


We marvel at how nice Jeannie's friend is to leave her home open for all to enjoy while she is out of town


I start panicking because I only have twenty minutes left and kinkos is far away. We run to the car.

6:43 PM

Jeannie breaks her friends garage door

6:45 PM

Jeannie fixes door

6:50 PM

I call everyone I know to see if I can use their fax

6:53 PM

Jeannie calls everyone she knows to see if we can use their fax

6:58 PM

Screech into Tammy's driveway

6:59 PM

Break down Tammy's front door and demand her husband fax the paper RIGHT NOW!

7:00 PM

sigh of relief

7:01 PM

Drop off Jeannie and Co


Run out of gas en route to gas station.

Just kidding, but it was scary and for future reference, when your car says that it has 0 miles left to empty, it's just kidding. It still has a tiny bit of gas in there, but I don't know how much.

Thanks Jeannie for the wild ride! The things I do to save $5!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Reverend Josh

You know who I feel bad for? Nigerian princes and/or South African missionaries who really are just looking to rent their houses out to nice people. They're in a real tough spot.

Perusing craigslist today I came across a duplex in Salt Lake, nice location, good size, perfect price (not too unrealistic, but still a good deal), there were pictures and everything.

I emailed the person to find out more information.

They sent me back a novel about how they recently left on a mission to "South African" to spread God's good word and how they took the keys and paperwork back with them but could send them by courier as soon as I sent them my deposit.

I wrote back and asked if instead of just sending the deposit if I could send an entire years worth of rent, and while I was at it $1100 was too good of a deal, how about I pay them $1300 a month instead?

He wrote back and said that lots of people were wondering the same thing, but really two months worth of rent would be just fine.

Thank you Reverend! What a steal! If you really are out there serving a mission in South Africa"N" I feel really sorry for you because I don't think anyone is going to be renting your house. At least not anyone with a brain.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Bentley back float

We've recently discovered that one of Bentley's talents is the backfloat. Also we just got a camera that will take video clips. Here's to many happy video posts!


When strolling through my mothers backyard flower garden during our Utah visit, we came across something she had recently made.
I have to say it makes me really excited to go to Enrichment in Utah, because I think things there might get a little