Monday, March 7, 2011

Fairies gone wild

And while on the topic of Gwen....she told me some of the kids had decorated their homework folders and asked if she could do the same. I consented, and I can only imagine how excited her teachers are to see this little number every day! Boom chicka wow wow!

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You may have already heard how Gwen busted open Bentley's box of valentines and labeled them all "To: Gwen From : Bentley" but did you hear how she labeled all of her valentines?

I'm not sure who this Fred kid is, but apparently she has the hots for him :) Just kidding, I told her to label them all "To: Friend" but apparently I need to enunciate better : )
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You know, I'm a self professed bad teacher. I'm just not good at it. I have lots of talents (most of them have something to do with changing two diapers at a time), but teaching simply is not one of them. I've taken strides, however, to make sure that I teach my children the important things in life. That they are children of God, that they should be kind, to only buy things that are on sale, and so on. And every once in a while I get what I like to call a "parent payday" when the efforts of my tireless teaching and patience pay off. I got one of those yesterday. Now that Gwen is getting older we've tried to teach her about stranger danger and what to do if someone attempts to kidnap her. Yesterday, out of the blue, she wrote down a step by step plan for what to do if a "bad guy, or almost bad guy" tries to kidnap her.

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Because many of you aren't fluent in kindergartenese I'll first rewrite what she wrote with her own spelling, and then I will interpret it for you.

1 AKT lik u dum kid
2 Yel Help!"
3 puch the priuris if is u Boy if is u grle puch hr in the nipl

And now, for those of you who use regular English rather than phonetic English

1. Act like a dumb kid
2. Yell help
3. Punch the privates if it's a boy, if its a girl, punch her in the nipple

It's nice to know that she is retaining the important things that we are trying to teach her : ) Also how cute that she puts a dot in between every word, attempted to use punctuation, and...I don't know, she's just so darn cute. And don't you dare try to kidnap my kid, unless you like a good punch to the nipple!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Surprise! I posted!

Well if I have learned one thing in my short life, it is that if I get behind on writing in a journal (or blog for this matter...) I will get intimidated and never start writing again. It's really sad isn't it? You keep thinking how you are going to just sit and catch up and write a thousand posts in a day but then you never do.

But the good news is I think the whole reason I haven't written is simply because I don't have time. First off I got a job! And it's a job blogging! Blaine's cousin owns a Utah real estate business. Did you notice how I made the link the key words that we are trying to get up on the google page for? See how I am learning all about SEO and so when I decide to become a rich famous blogger sometime I actually maybe can. I am also learning a lot about html* < / slight exaggeration > . So everyday I take Gwen to school, come home, wrasstle the young 'uns in to their naps (getting harder and harder) and then spend exactly two hours down here blogging on a real estate blog. Don't judge my posts yet, I am still getting the hang of it, and it is more factual than entertaining, but it's a start! My first humble paycheck is on the way.

And what will I do with that paycheck, you ask? Well, for starters I will put a deposit down on the SIXTY DOLLARS WORTH of donuts Blaine bought yesterday. You heard me.** He got a special clearance at work a few days ago and can now go in to a different part of the building and apparently you have to bring donuts (specifically not the crappy kind). We wound up taking gourmet donuts that cost their weight in gold. Anyway, let's let bygones be bygones.

Another reason I am busy is because I freaking LOVE the gym. Remember how I posted that one time about Zumba? Turns out, I LOVE IT! And also turns out that trying to fit the gym in while shuttling around a kindergartner is nearly impossible. But I'll be darned if I don't try. Anyway love zumba, and am trying to work up my courage to become an instructor. Not sure if they allow people with ZERO rhythm and coordination to actually teach, but I can't imagine a better job (if the whole real estate blogger thing doesn't pan out).

So.. it's been a while...over a month and then before that it was another month. It pains me, especially because for Christmas I printed out ye olde blog and gave it to Blaine and it made us happy that we have some documentation of our lives the past few years.

So, in honor of me getting overwhelmed and knowing deep down that I never will really catch up, I present, my list of things that deserve their own blog post but simply wont get one.

  • Law School - Just the very words make my heart beat fast. To go or not to go? Blaine applied to ten schools, we've heard back from seven (all yes!) Blaine got full tuition scholarships to two (University of St. Thomas - not in St. Thomas, unfortunately, in St. Paul, big difference AND Baylor), and a meager scholarship to another (George Mason in DC) we've yet to hear from University of Texas, University of Washington and University of Colorado (ironically our three big dream schools). My thoughts? Wellllllllllllllllllllllll, originally I was the reason we started this whole thing because I wanted to get back to Austin, RIGHT then. Life was miserable (a true blue depression I've decided, brought on by a big move, a friendless ward, a dark basement, financial woes, having three young children at home - one who was really really ready for school- and last but certainly not least, really bad renters). Last March we got new renters, then in June we moved to a beautiful non-basement house, I got some friends (Hello Bunko Group, Dinner Swap, Movie Nights!), Gwen started kinder (hello sweet sweet freedom) and so on. Turns out being not depressed is freaking awesome. So I kind of hesitate to shake things up again, because we always shake things up just when they start getting to awesome. But I agree higher education is important and I want to do this, but then are we going to afford things like...oh say diapers, let alone insurance for the children. Anyway, look at how I sneakily turned this in to its own blogpost within a blogpost. Sorry, won't happen again.
  • Bentley got a $1 watch for Christmas and it has turned in to his personal decision maker. He'll be like "Mom! My watch says it's time to go to a movie!" or "Mom! My watch didn't say that it is naptime, so I am NOT taking a nap". I kind of hate that thing, but I am super impressed that he keeps it on him at all times. If I could only be that way with my keys.
  • Turns out my incredibly trustworthy daughter is not so trustworthy (guess I should have figured that out last year). She's been snitching up a storm. It started out with me finding finger marks in the sugar bowl. Then a bunch of Valentine candy wrappers in her room, and culminated in me finding a sugar encrusted measuring cup on a back shelf in her closet. I don't even want to think about how full it had been and how fast she ate an entire cup of sugar. Anyway, any awesome parenting tips? Do I lock every cupboard? Forbid her from going in the kitchen? I'm a bit at a loss. She is big enough to get in to everything if she wants to.
  • I am a professional matchmaker. Remember the last ward I was in? How I kind of only made one friend? On about the first time I met the friend I found out she had a single, handsome, awesome brother and as it turns out, I have a single, awesome, amazing sister-in-law. A few weeks later I had a bday party for Ives(uh, nickname for Ivy) and my sister-in-law came as did Katie (the friend), when Katie met Janey she gave the go ahead to her brother to call her up. And they are totally getting married in June. Aren't I amazing? And won't they be conflicted on September 23, October 23 and December 9th (read hyperlink)?
  • I would be remiss if I didn't say something about IJ. Where did that girl come from? She is about the naughtiest two-year-old I've ever met, but she has the guise of an angel. She looks like she is about 12 months old (though she is now over two), still barely has hair and what she does have is all cornsilky and blonde, gorgeous blue eyes, but a fiery fiesty temper that will scare the bejeebies out of you. You would just have to see it to believe it. So naughty. And on the bright side her new favorite phrases are a) "HELP ME" and b) "______ hit me! Help!" no one actually hits her, so..... its made for some awkward situations, especially because if I say "no, Bentley didn't hit you, he's not even in the room" "her eyes open wide, her lips start to quiver and she says, "MOMMY hit me! Help" so if I get hauled away for child abuse ... I swear, I didn't do it, she is just playing the innocent youngest child a little too well. I bought her a leash for her second birthday and life has been happier since. What a crazy child. I love her though, too much for words!

So there you have it a brief (kinda) synopsis of where I've been, what I'm doing, and the plights of everyday motherhood. Now I can write another post of things that I am doing that you should be doing too, without feeling guilty about shamelessly plugging programs that I get rewards for.

Is anyone even still out there? If I promise to write more will you come back? I have funny stories, they still happen every day....lots of them involve poop, I promise I'll share! Missed you guys. Okay, peace out.

*The funny thing is that I tried to do the opening and closing tags for that sentence as a joke, but it kept doing funny things, like striking out my whole post, so really I have quite a bit more to learn about html : )

** Note the vagueness, because I kind of am in fear that Russian Spies will read that and come kindnap Blaine, I promise it's not THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Geez, I am kind of nervous though. Stupid blog anonymity, I crave you!