Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Trendsetters

I wasn't born with hair. I was born with feathers. Seriously. Fluffy, non substantially, frizzy feathers. If I gather it all in a ponytail it's about the thickness of a straw. A very small, very thin straw. It's been a curse all my life. Especially as I got to hear the complaints of people like Julianne and Laurie who had gorgeously thick, amazing hair.
And while I fear that I have passed on my bad hair genes to Bentley and possibly Ivy. Gwen hit the lottery. Gwen got Blaine's hair. Thick, gorgeous, naturally highlighted hair.

The kind I will curse when I have to buy the "extra thick" barrettes for in high school.

The kind that people comment on.

The stuff of legends.


And I knew this day would come. This idle Wednesday. Deep down in my heart of hearts I knew.
Actually, no. I used to figure I knew it would come, but at this point. I thought we had escaped.
I had no idea when I laid Bentley and Ivy down for a nap this afternoon and wearily climbed into my bed, weary and longing for just a moments rest. As Gwen sat busily playing with play dough I knew the moment was fleeting and that I would get fifteen minutes, at best, of uninterrupted sleep.
So when she came in. I wasn't surprised. And when she held up a ziploc bag and said, "Mom! Look! I want to show you something!" I wasn't surprised either.
But, as I sleepily got my eyes into focus I noticed she had a baggie full of the most beautiful corn silk.
But wait...
and that is when the surprise came

No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I shouted. "UNDO!" AGH. NOOOO. NO Gwen, not now.
Not three months away from starting kindergarten.
Not now when your hair has finally grown back from three years ago when I cut it. On purpose.
No
No!
It was karma coming back to get me for the time I shaved off my eyebrowns and cut my eyelashes.
The mothers curse rearing its ugly head.
I wasn't mad. I was sad. Really really sad.
Because it is short folks. Really, really short.
On the upside. I think we may just be cool enough to single handedly bring
the mullet back into style.


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Excuse me while I grab a box of tissues.
Um, seriously though, look at the below picture. Do you think I could fix her hair like this for...I dunno the next THREE years while it grows out?
On the bright side. She completely blames her grandma. She claims she cut it because she wants to remember what color it was when she was five, just like Grandma has a baggie with her hair in it from when she was young. Who needs a digital camera when you can have a gallon size baggie of your own hair?

27 comments:

Janssen said...

Oh my word. I'm guessing Gwen cried a lot? I see some seriously red eyes.

Melinda said...

Oh noooo!!!! Poor little Gwen!!!! On the upside...when I was 3 I cut my MOM'S hair like this...good story!!!

McCulloch Moments said...

Be sure to donate that hair to Locks of Love and turn that frown upsidedown!

PS Melinda's story is a true one... I watched the whole thing :)

Shanon said...

I am so sorry Kristi! That is a very sad childhood disaster. You both might need to see a counselor to get over the trauma.

Kinsey did the exact same thing except her hair is very thin. I waited a long time for it to be long enough to do cute things with it. I think I manage two piggy tails before that dreaded day. We both cried (she was crying because I was hysterical) then I very sadly took her to a hair salon to fix it. She got a cute bob (well it was cute after some of the hair grew back in). Now she will not even dare get her hair cut...I think I traumatized her!

Look at her now though. A very nice, helpful, responsible 15 year old with long hair! I promise you will get over it...in a year or two.

Jan said...

She blames her Grandma???? Which Grandma????? I think it must be grandma Wendy, right? I don't have a bagful of my own hair or anyone elses for that matter, If I had saved my hair from every haircut since I was young, I still wouldn't have a bag full of hair. I know where you inherited your hair :)

It will be interesting to see how you style her hair for the next little while :)

And trust me, It is the mothers curse for shaving your eyebrows and cutting your eye lashes and blaming it on poor Jimmy next door, when you were young.

haley said...

I am so.sad. for you...Good luck!

Rochelle said...

:( You need to go see April - she can do wonders!!!

Emily K. said...

um...what do you say after that?

I think my children would never be allowed near me if they did that (watch it happen now :) )
I cry when we get the girls hair trimmed because my hair is SO thin and fine.

If we could only have hair like Ms. Jones, then we could play Rapunzel all day!

It will grow back, and she is so cute, who needs hair?!

marisa said...

Oh my! I'm SOOOO sorry!

Janey Bassett said...

Holy Cow! I am so sad! I just did her hair the other day so we could be princesses together. :( I can't wait to see what you do with it.

Monique said...

So we almost invited Gwen over today after school and my two thoughts are 1) could have saved Gwen from this idea to cut hair or 2) Gwen and Jenna would have matching hair! So I'm so sorry for you but secretly happy that no. 2 didn't happen. Hey at least she still has bangs!

Angela said...

Oh my gosh. Why do you have to make tragedies so hilarious!?? It's hard not to laugh so hard that I need a box of tissues myself, the way you blogged about this. Holy cow. Sorry that happened though. Seriously.

Angela said...

p.s. she looks super cute in the last picture!

leslie the licorice stick lady said...

Just take her in for a cute A-line cut. I really can empathize with you though. My daughter cut her own hair twice and had it cut by her sister all before she was three. She nevertheless sported a short pixie cut for most of her toddler life and was more than once thought of as a boy. Good luck!

Strong Family - said...

I did this DURING kindergarten, a few days before the kindergarten play. My mom made me wear a pioneer bonnet, because it was just awful. Like all the way to the scalp in some places. I'm so sorry. I will cry for days if Savannah ever does that. I feel your pain.

Gretchen said...

Wow, you made it look great in that one style! I hurt for you. I'm sorry. But I think there's promise. Some hair stylist will totally come up with something totally cute I bet.

Kinda like Lauree, I cut my hair in front like SHAVED short. But when I was 8!!! And I was supposed to be a flower girl in my aunt's wedding in a couple months. I had to get bangs, very short bangs. My logic for doing it? There was a piece hanging down in my face in the way. Apparently I was a stupid 8 year old.

Maretta and Danny said...

Oh, Kristi, I'm so sad for you!! It may not make you feel better now, but remember, this too shall pass.

Sheyenne said...

OH.MY.WORD. I've have never seen a kid cut their hair that badly! I'm sure that makes you feel tons better. You really did a good job of covering it up in that cute little 'do you did though. And yes, it's painful now, but someday in the not too far off future, especially when someone else's kid does it, you will look back and laugh. And that picture of her is priceless.

julianne orth said...

it's so great that my hair made it in your post, i always envied thin straight hair though... imagine that... but i would cry too, sydney cut her hair last year right before kindergarten and that is how she got her cute little bob haircut that i loved on her. just take her to a really good hair dresser (actually Davey's wife who lives in Lehi is awesome with short hair cuts) and she will look cute.

Kristi said...

Oh my gosh that is drastic!!! She could get a really cute pixy cut. I think these "hair cuts" are so much more devastating on the moms than on the child. Have fun coming up with adorable hair do's. She sure is a cutie any way her hair is.

Stefanie Miller said...

Kris, you know how I've told you that you can make me laugh more than anyone else? My dear friend, you have done it again! Jan doesn't know if I am laughing or crying (he's probably convinced it's the latter after the day I've had) and indeed there are many tears, but what a good laugh. Oh, she really didn't hold back at all, did she? I don't see a graceful way to keep the long hair for the time being, so it really is quite the tragedy. Are you going to keep the gallon-sized baggie full of hair in her scrapbook for all time? Good thing you really are cool enough to single-handedly bring back the mullet. Oh, Kris. What would we do without you?

Melanie said...

I did the same thing to my mom the morning of pictures in Kindergarten!! Except I wacked off all of my bangs all the way to the scalp!

Alison K. said...

That is why all the scissors in my house are LOCKED UP or way out of reach!! Grace cut hers once while i was buzzing eddie's, with the scissors that are in the clipper box. I was mortified and she only cut a little bit that was easily hidden.

Susan said...

Hmm . m . m . m . . . Gwen looks a little red around the eyes in the first picture, but it looks like she got over it! Sounds like a big step in the difficult process of separation that must occur between a mother and daughter. It's usually while trying to calm myself down from the big fit I've thrown that I realize it's HER hair after all.

Susan said...

Hmm . m . m . m . . . Gwen looks a little red around the eyes in the first picture, but it looks like she got over it! Sounds like a big step in the difficult process of separation that must occur between a mother and daughter. It's usually while trying to calm myself down from the big fit I've thrown that I realize it's HER hair after all.

Laurie said...

Is it possible you got more comments on this than on the day Ivy was born? :)
Bummer about the hair. Like you said, it was inevitable, but she really did have beautiful hair. We love her either way!
Still waiting to hear about #55....

meleah said...

I am sure I would have cried!! I can't believe she did that!! I want to see how you were able to fix it.