Monday, March 30, 2009

MuffinTop Monday - week 2

Okay. I owe you a report. And just as a side note that is not MY muffin top, I have no naval ring, nor do I have camo pants.

I went to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. I did the elliptical every day, and the bike (oh baby, that made me hurt in more places than I knew I had that could hurt) on Saturday. On Friday I did yoga. I am still trying to sell myself on the whole yoga thing. I know my old crochity seventy year old self who falls down and does not break her hip will thank me, but man, it sure seems cheesy doing Yoga and I am not so good at it.

I only had ONE treat this week, a piece of chocolate eclair cake which was to die for. It's funny how when you exercise restraint everything tastes a thousand times better.

Okay drum roll please....

My weigh in tonight was 135!

That's a loss of 3 lbs. Woot!

And I know it seems weird to report all of this on the blog, but really if I didn't have to report it to you (oh anonymous ones) I wouldn't have gone to the gym on Saturday or tonight, because I really didn't want to...and I probably would have stopped at least once for a frosty. So thanks.


If you were to glance at my nightstand today, the three books you would see are

Teach your child to mind, without losing yours!
Fussbusters at home; an everyday guide to keep children happy
and finally
How to BEHAVE so your Preschooler will too!

Can we tell I've got a problem? Right around the time Bentley was born things went South with mine and Gwen's relationship. Lots of frustration, lots of anger, lots of hurt feelings, and one person left feeling like they were a horrible mother and the other likely feeling like she wasn't much of a daughter. I even caught myself sometimes having to remind myself "I LOVE GWEN". I knew it deep down, but sometimes in the midst of the anger and frustration it was hard to feel. I still knew I would do anything for her, but something had gone horribly wrong in our relationship.

Blaine thought it was interesting that I picked up parenting books. I didn't read any when Gwen was a new baby, things went great. I relied on advice from friends when I was struggling with Bentley. But no one can help me with this problem Gwen and I have. So, I thought I would turn to the experts (or at least to someone's amazon list of the top ten parenting books) and give it a shot.

If anything in this world is worth fighting for, it is my relationship with my daughter.

I've been trying harder to be more patient with Gwen, and I have definitely seen rewards for that.

Yesterday I tried particularly hard. I knew that Sundays are hard days for us. By the time we get out the door for church; ten minutes late with mismatched shoes and uncombed hair, we are all frustrated with one another. So I got up early. We have 11 o'clock church for cryin' out loud, it shouldn't be impossible (keep in mind we have to leave about twenty minutes early to get there on time). I had three hours. I fed the kids breakfast (avoiding the trap I often fall into of making homemade waffles or something, that's a big time suck!). Got them dressed, 100% ready, from head to toe. Then I stuck them in front of a home video while Blaine and I got ready.

It all was going fine until our neighbors dog, who we were pet sitting, ran into the house from the backyard and out the front door just as we were walking out the door to leave. We chased her around (she was just trying to get back to her house) and she was ticked when we caught up to her. So ticked that she pretty much attacked me.

After that fiasco we hopped in the car and still made it to church on time! Amazing. It was a great feeling to get there and not be mad at anyone and to be all groomed properly and what not. Definitely going to try to make that more of a habit!

Then in the afternoon I took Gwen and Ben on a little walk to hunt for rolly pollys. We had a great time just toddling up and down the street.

I was on a roll! Gwen and I hadn't had a bad interaction all day!

At night I wanted to read each child a story and spend some personal time with each of them. I don't know that I have ever read Bentley a story (that's another emotional drama for another day, poor poor middle children, seriously). It was so sweet to sit with him on my lap and read him a story.

Then it was Gwen's turn. I read her a story, and then seeing how sad she was that our special time was over so soon, offered to read her another. We read a Barenstain Bears book about the "wishing star". Then we had a great discussion about wishing stars and I took the opportunity to be mom of the year and take her outside to find a wishing star, recite the little poem and make a wish.

She made her wish quietly and when I could tell that she was saying it outloud in a very hushed wisper, I leaned in close....

"I wish....I wish I wish for a pink and purple teddy bear".

When we got inside she asked Blaine how wishing stars give us things. And Blaine took the time to explain to her about how really we should be doing our best to work for things and then ask Heavenly Father for them.

He came in from saying her personal prayers with her to say that she prayed for a pink and purple teddy bear.


Hmmm. Well it was Sunday night, couldn't really run to the store, but I thought it would be sweet for her to get her wish. So I found a coloring page online and meticulously colored a pink and purple teddy bear, after all, I didn't want her wish to go unanswered.

I left it on the table for her to see during breakfast. I knew it wasn't exactly what she wanted, but I had hoped that it would help her feel loved and perhaps like the wishing star had heard her hopes.

This morning I woke up to the sound of toy boxes being dumped out. I went in to Gwen's room to find a disaster of toys; all the bins had been dumped, closet sorted through, and she looked at me with a big smile and said, "I'm searching for my wish!".

Despite the mess a big grin spread across my face as I led her downstairs. She got so excited when she saw the picture. I've never seen a smile so big. My heart was full, my sacrifice hadn't been in vain. I was making progress in our relationship. Then she studied the picture carefully and said, "this must be a MAP to my real pink and purple teddy bear!" and proceeded to go and look outside for the real deal.

I better keep reading those books eh?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Holy Moses.

That was sooooome hailstorm

Too bad the one time it actually hails like this I had convinced myself to not be toooo paranoid and go out to cover the car with a blanket.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

TTST - Tip the scale Tuesday!

This blog post contains full disclosure. You've been warned.

I cruised through highschool weighing about 98 lbs. That was pretty small, but not as small as it sounds for someone of my stature. I'm not sure how I managed weighing less than 250lbs when I reflect back on my diet of 1 pkg Little Debbie nutty bars 1pkg Cool Ranch Doritos and 1 Dr. pepper for lunch every day. Not to mention that at our house oreos were always in stock and there were no limits on ice cream consumption and such.

I am about 5' feet tall, 5'1" on a good day. According to a healthy weight range for someone that is 5' tall is 102-128lbs. After I got married I was about 105, then right before I got pregnant with Gwen I was a whopping 110lbs.

During my pregnancy with Gwen. I gained about 55lbs. Two and a half years after she was born I was tipping the scales at 129 lbs (technically overweight). Blaine had a big to lose too weighing in at about 40 lbs higher than his recommended weight for his height.

Blaine and I were quite discouraged about our weight so we joined weight watchers for a five week trial program.

I hope he isn't upset that I share that, because he made amazing progress with weight watchers! He was shedding pounds like crazy! So much so that they had to tell him to stop losing weight so fast. I think he lost about 35 lbs during those five weeks, and I lost about 13lbs. Just when I was feeling comfortable with my body again...we found out Bentley was coming!

Keeping up with tradition I gained about 50-55 lbs while I was pregnant with Bentley (give me a break, have you seen the kids head? That thing alone weighed a ton ; ).

To my complete amazement and happiness, my baby weight with Bentley practically melted off. Every time I stepped on the scale I was 5 lbs lighter, it was a great feeling! The kid had a ferocious appetite plus Ralphie was hauling me to the gym three times a week. Within about four months I was back to not just my pre Bentley weight, but my pre Gwen weight. I was thrilled.

And then the next day I found out I was pregnant, again.

What a weight rollercoaster.

Gained 50 lbs while pregnant with Ivy.

And I think this weight loss journey is following closer to the tracks of how it went when I had Gwen, unfortunately, and not the magical weight loss that happened after Bentley.

After Ivy was born I lost 20 lbs in one week. Not bad! If I were a normal person who only gains 20 lbs in a pregnancy I would have been back to normal. Unfortunately, that left me with 30 lbs to lose, and I haven't lost a one since that first week. Not one single pound.

Not sure what's going on there. Hardly seems fair.

So. . . not like you care, but I am going to update you on my weight loss progress. We'll call it "Muffin Top Mondays" or something. I know, today is Tuesday, whatever...this week it is "Tipping the scale Tuesday".

This week I set a goal to go to the gym three times a week, and only eat two sweets per week. I am one day down and I'm doing great so far. Anyway, just thought I would let you know.

So, let the race begin, and in the interest of full disclosure....and since if you really cared you could do all the math by yourself from the numbers I have already given you.... the scale at the gym yesterday said 138. I am hoping to get back to 110.

So let the journey begin and tune in next Monday for additional goals I will be adding and my weigh in. Geez, it's like weight watchers all over again, but for free this time!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Gmail just got ten times better!

Have you ever visited the "settings" link in your gmail? If not, do it, now!

Gmail has all sorts of features I never knew existed. For example, you can turn on a feature that lets you retract an email you just sent (only for a few seconds after you hit send though!)

You can set it so after a certain hour at night you have to answer three math problems before you can send the you don't accidentally tell your boss he's a jerk while you are wasted (or whatever, I can't really imagine not being able to answer simple math problems, but hey...)

Best of all you can create a task list that will sit in the corner and remind you of what a time waster you are - emailing your friends while you should be getting your oil changed and what not.

Also you can add your google calendar on the side so you can be reminded of appointments, etc.

You can hit a "take a break" button which will make it so you can't access your email for fifteen minutes. Good if you just are a mindless email checker, like myself.

Anyway. The good folks at google never disappoint me. Unless their map program takes me to the middle of nowhere instead of to the work party at the local ice skating rink. But that was just the one time....

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fifty Nifty

We have some forced vacation coming up and we are looking to go and see some new places. Especially places where we know people who live there. Like our friend Jed lives in Kentucky, we'd probably never really go to Kentucky, but hey we have forced vacation coming up and can only afford to drive, why not! I have absolutely no idea how Jed feels about it though.

Ideally we would combine our two weeks of forced vacation and do something really adventurous like drive up the East coast (dear 50 family members that are now going to comment and say, hey why don't you drive to New York for the family reunion....let me just get it out in the open that we can only combine our two weeks if we take the last week of June and the first week of July...which doesn't coincide with the reunion, bummer, I know).

So I was checking google analytics and it turns out I know people in almost every state, or at least they know me and have read my, anyone want me to come visit them for forced vacation week?

Or anyone have any secret awesome inexpensive vacation spots within a 12 hour radius of the Austin metro?

Kristi's Backyard Garden, take 2

If at first you can't succeed, try try again. If a horse bucks you off, get right back in the saddle again. These are my new mantras.

That's right folks, after the gardening disaster of 07 I am back in the saddle again.

After all "The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try nothing and succeed." Right?

So I recruited some friends whose spring break schedule had recently been freed up due to an unfortunate case of the plague at Kayla's house.

It's really nice when you can recruit people to dig a garden for you while you sit and nurse your baby on the back porch and watch.

As a side note, would you look at the quality craftmanship on those soccer goals? That took Ralphie and I a good two hours.

Carrying on.... I know it's a little late to be planting from seeds, but..

And here we have it, my "bit of earth" which I must now fill with a mixture of all sorts of expensive things, like garden soil.

I assume that in the olden days they didn't have "garden soil" and pete moss and all that. They dug a hole in the ground, took a seed out of the tomato they were eating and put it in. Let nature take it's course, you know? So it kind of gets my goat that I have to mix in all sorts of sand, and yadda yadda in to have any hope of growing things.

Which hope will be smashed if I can't jimmy rig some kind of fence to keep out dogs, birds, children and so on. Any ideas?

Thanks Bart and Janssen for digging my garden whilst I ate pizza and made witty remarks from the porch!
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009


A person like me goes through a lot of diapers.

So you can imagine that when I found out they were giving away diapers at walgreens, I was all over that.

Okay so they are not quite giving them away, but still, ten cents a diaper? Nothing to shake a stick at.

Go to

find the walgreen brand diapers

they are on sale 2 packages for $9

buy 12 packages

get free shipping

use coupon code CLOVER for an extra 17% off

and if you are a member of go to Walgreens via fatwallet to get 4% cashback.

and wait for your boatload of diapers to come in.

(and also say a little prayer that they are decent diapers, otherwise it's going to be a miserable year of diaper wearing in the Bassett household)

Thank me later. Unless they are horrible diapers, in which case take advantage of the satisfaction guarantee.

Grown up Christmas list

If Christmas were tomorrow on my list would be...

* Meat thermometer (cooking my first real chicken a couple of weeks ago was so traumatic because I thought I was poisoning my family)

* One of those combs where on one end is a pointy metal thing with which to part your hair (My MIL who just visited had one of those and I snuck in to use it daily and was quite happy with my straight part; and by straight I mean that the zigzag part I did had straight zigs and zags)

* A rake. Apparently if you are going to dig your own garden bed, and garden in general, you need things like rakes and shovels. Not just steak knives.

* For that matter, I need all things with which to garden. You know, gloves, a hose (which has not been eaten by dogs), those kind of things.

* A difusser. You know those things you put on your blowdryer that make your hair curlier than it is? I think that would help the mess that is my hair. I am on my way to life dream #5...which is to ride a horse on the beach at sunset with my long curly hair flowing in the wind. At least it is to my shoulders, hasn't been that long in a while. Now I just need a horse, a beach and a sunset, and a couple more inches of hair, and a long flowy white dress or something.

* Isn't this a depressing Christmas in March list?

Random thoughts, but gotta go for now...we are taking a field trip of a farm (hey, most of the things on my list could be commandeered from a farm, horse included!).

We've got a fun and busy week planned, it's spring break and all of our friends are free to play. Woohoo!

Oh and also; I find it strangely inspiring and depressing how functional my mother-in-law can be. Doing three loads of laundry takes me ....mmmm...about three days, four if you coun't putting it away. She did three loads yesterday in like an hour and a half; and that was after a full day of hiking around Austin. Good Heaven's. Then today she left at six in the AM and had her air mattress all put away and the blankets folded. While she was here she did several projects that I have been meaning to get to for about two fixing Gwen's drapes which fell down on like the second day that we lived here....organizing under Gwen's bathroom sink.

Anyway, I always feel inspired to be more functional after she leaves. And it usually works for like a week or something, so that will be good ; ).

Sunday, March 15, 2009

What's in a name?

I spend most of my time during the winter bragging to family and friends about how nice the weather is here and how they should come visit. The weather here had been spectacular for about three months straight.

As fate would have it Blaine's mom flew into town on Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning we woke up to freezing cold rainy weather...and it has been rainy and cold for the entirety of her stay. The day she leaves it is supposed to warm up to 75 dgs.


Anyway we've had a great time with her being here. We were talking last night about my friends and she pointed out that my friends


all have really interesting names. It's true. And here I am with the generic 80s girl name...Kristi. It's okay, I like my name just fine. In fact I recall my friend Stef one time told me how lucky I was because I had TWO baby sitters club names (my middle name is Dawn and two of the main characters in the Babysitters Club books were Kristy and Dawn). I remember at the start of many a school year trying to convince everyone that I was going to go by Dawn that year. Never worked.

My mom says she almost named me Carrie, and I used to wish so badly that she had. But now? Gag me. (Sorry if your name is Carrie, I just can't see myself being named that).

Anyway, I am happy with my name, happier still that it is spelled the way it is.

I hope my children will all really like their names. I like them!

And thank heavens I didn't get to name my children when I was 14 because back then I wanted to name them River and hippie stuff like that (again, kudos to you if you are cool enough to name your kids things like that, because I still think it is cute, but I am not cool enought to pull off having a kid named River....)

My apologies for the blog hiatus, we have family in town and have been busy doing fun things! (none of the fun things that I had planned because all of those involved being outside, but fun things nonetheless).

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Cut off

This morning I woke up to find that the internet was in shambles, which by extension meant my world was in shambles. I opened explorer and it wouldn't let me go anywhere. It kept asking for a network key which, uh...what? and then it said if I didn't have one to visit such and such website to get one. Um, in the world am I supposed to visit a website if you won't let me access the internet????

How can I get technical supports phone number with no internet access?

How can I finish my taxes?

Find out what's on sale at Randalls?

Cook my dinner tonight?

Pay my bills?

Communicate with the world????

Find the flight information for my mother in law?

Buy an air mattress for our houseguests?

How can I do any of those things without internet access. I was in a panic all morning and seriously freaking out. Not so much freaking out that I couldn't get online but freaking out about how completely useless I am as a person without the internet.

Seriously, I was all panicky because the recipe I was going to make for dinner is on the internet and how could I possibly cope without the recipe!

Plus, what was the weather going to be like?


Needless to say the internet is back and I want to go sob in a corner from how scary it was to not have it.

I'm pathetic.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

That thine alms may be in secret....

Recently someone did something really nice (really really really really ) nice for our family. Many of you have done things really nice for our family recently. I've been overwhelmed with the amount of meals friends have brought over, with the mound of diapers I found on the step one day from a diaper drop a friend had organized, from people watching Gwen and Bentley, people offering emotional support. We've been so blessed lately thanks to all of you.

This particular deed was done anonymously. I got a phone call from someone who said, "God just wants you to know how much he loves you and your family today, and because He does He has sent someone who [insert really really kind deed here] for you. I can't tell you who it was, but they just felt God wanted you to know he loves you". I burst into tears, she burst into tears. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has done for me. I couldn't believe someone would love me, or Gwen or just our family that much to do something like that for us.

At first I felt sad that I would never know who it was. But then as Blaine and I talked about it we decided that it is way better that we don't know, because now, everyone gets credit! It could have been Ralphie, it could have been my brother, it could have been someone at Gwen's preschool, or it could have been you. I don't know and I never will. All I can do is try hard to be so kind to everyone that everyone will feel my love for them, and hopefully along the way I will be kind to whoever did this for us, and they'll know how appreciative I am.

Anyway, since my husband is far more eloquent than I, I am including some of a blog post he wrote to our family blog about doing alms in secret...


We will never know who it was.

And that's exactly what is so great about it.

You all probably remember how I always spent my Christmas Eve before falling asleep. Every year I loved reading the George Durrant short story: "That Thine Alms May Be in Secret" about the man who has a secret service done for him and then spends the rest of his life trying to do something that big and that secret for someone else. I've always loved that story and that scripture: That thine alms may be in secret... But I don't know if I ever realized why secret service is so great--even better than public service.

It's because we don't know who did it, so we have to assume that everyone around us could have been the one. We have begun to look at everyone we know as our potential secret helper. And when you look at people that way it makes you love them and feel close to them. "I wonder if she could have done something like that for us. You know what, I bet she could. I could actually see her doing something like that. She is so awesome!"

The same concept is what makes secret evil the worst kind of evil. It's one thing when you see someone get caught shoplifting--tsk tsk. But they are flesh and blood and they will face the consequences. It's another thing when you see a dirty word spray painted on a wall. It makes your blood boil because you know that there won't be any temporal consequences for the offender. And worse you start looking at all the neighborhood kids, all these darn punks on the streets with their baggy pants and their shifty eyes. It could have been any one of them! And you begin to feel distanced from them, you judge them unfairly--a subtle form of hate. It was the same thing when I lost my wallet. I thought it had maybe fallen out of my pocket at work and so suddenly I was looking at all my co-workers and all the janitors and maintenance people: "I wonder if he could have done something like that. I wouldn't think so, but you know what, maybe he would! I don't know, maybe if no one was looking..." You get the point.

So let us get out there and serve and do good. Many times it will be impossible to do it in secret but when we get the chance to do one of our alms in secret, I hope we'll take that chance. Because we'll still get the credit for it from the person we're serving. Just everybody else will get credit too and so it just grows into a great situation for everybody.


Anyway, just so you know, I feel so blessed that I can see so many of you doing something this nice. I am surrounded by loving and caring people and I appreciate all you have done for me. I feel so loved and so blessed and so grateful!


Friday, March 6, 2009

Somebody call IXII

It's never fun to pull up to your house after a rare date with your husband to find an ambulance parked in front. You would think I would be used to it. It happens most times that we go out. Or a lot of times when just I go out and leave Blaine home with the kids. We pull into the street to find an ambulance parked right in front of our house. My heart skips a few beats, and I nearly die from anxiety. Then my heart slows as it sinks in and I remember that I live next door to two EMTs and they often park their ambulance out in front. Still though, the shock of seeing an ambulance in front of your house is nearly enough to kill you.

Luckily though, I learned yesterday, that there are lots of perks to living next door to people who could save your life at a moments notice. Gwen and I came inside from playing out front and she immediately ran to the back door to go out back. I wasn't looking, but I heard some hysterical screaming moments later. I figured she just smashed her finger, it happens. But she came running up to me with blood literally GUSHING out of her finger.... and I froze. No, no, I didn't freeze. I was concentrating very very hard on not vomiting.

Have I told you I have been considering going to nursing school? Yeah....scratch that.

I was a little horrified at my reaction. We haven't had to deal with much blood in this household. A scrape or so here and there, but no gushing. I mean, it's like Gwen has an artery in her finger or something. Blood all over the floor, in the sink, on me...

Getting nauseous again

So, being the adult I am, I went running to the EMTs. Because really, a mother shouldn't have to bandage the gaping wounds of her own child.

Once I got there the cut looked kind of like any other cut and not the quagmire of flesh and blood that it had been over at my house. And I felt a little stupid. I don't want to play the "EMT please save me!" card for false emergencies. I need to save up my reserve for head gashes, cardiac arrest and scorpion stings....and mostly for Bentley.

She was really nice about it and sent us back home and told us both to eat some ice cream and take it easy.

All I can say is that I need to pray that Bentley turns out to be a very very careful little boy, because this whole cleaning up blood thing isn't working.

(BONUS POINTS: if you can name the movie that my title is from)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

$0.19 straw

Today I went to Sonic for happy hour. It's what I do on Thursdays. I thought the total seemed a little high. I checked the receipt. They now charge for straws. Twenty cents.

That's fine, but I wasn't given the option whether or not I wanted a straw.

And that's all I have to say 'bout that.

Like McAdams love Gosling

Well, chalk another movie on the list of movies that, to quote Janssen, "rip the freaking tears right out of you". First on the list is Charlie. I think I've mentioned before that one fateful night that Blaine and I watched Charlie and spent over an hour or two after the movie bawling our eyes out. So last night we popped in "The Notebook". Holy freaking cow. It quite literally ripped the freaking tears right out of me.

So, our initial inclination when we see movies like these is to never watch them again, ever. We don't like feeling that much emotion...even though it is a good emotion. We weren't crying because we were sad that the old people died, or even that she had dementia. We, or at least I, was crying because he loved her enough to read their story to her everyday. And that's a good thing. That's love. So why do I never want to see the movie again?

Those two movies probably touched me more than any others. Other movies too, like Hotel Rawanda or The Kite Runner also really touched me. Not only touched me but changed me. They changed the way I thought, the way I see the world.

But I would never buy them!

I can't be watching movies like those all the time or I would be an emotional basketcase all of the time.

So what movies do we own? Oh, you know. Freaky Friday. 13 Going on 30. Music and Lyrics. Just Like Heaven. We buy movies that we can watch over and over again. Movies that make us laugh, movies that we can quote without bursting into tears.

It leaves me with a dilemma though. When someone asks my favorite movie, what do I say? Do they mean, "what is your favorite movie?" as in "what movie do you always feel up to watching?" or do they mean "what movie touched you, stirred me more than any other?"

[pause to get Bentley OUT of the dishwasher]

Because really? I can't believe watching a movie like "Charlie" or "The Notebook" could be so powerful as to leave Blaine and I talking and crying for hours (I did most of the crying, but as a note remember how he cried during "Mission to Mars"?) and then I have the audacity to not call it my favorite movie. It made me feel closer to my husband than I have in a long time, how could that not be my favorite?

We finally decided that we can only watch heavy movies like that once a year.

Anyway, so we only have

[Pause to get Bentley out of the baby swing, since Ivy is already in there]

Anyway, as I was saying, we only have 11 months left to choose our next emotionally charged movie. Any recommendations? What other movies yank the freaking tears right out of you?

And just a funny sidenote, after watching the movie Blaine and I both had a new respect for the bakery featured in the SNL clip "Lazy Sunday"

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Pi Day

Did you know that 95% of statistics are untrue? That's why the only type of pie chart you should trust is this kind...I certainly hope you are all planning on celebrating Pi Day this year (March know 3.14). I know we are! I haven't missed a year since 10th grade. Never a better time to eat pie!

Fair play

I think my ridiculous fear of bugs began back when I was a child and my mom told me that spiders drink out of our eyes in our sleep. It's true. My own mother told me this when I was like six. And she wonders why I would sneak into her bed in the middle of the night when I had nightmares.

There was one time when I was a kid that I saw a big fat bumblebee in our house; so I did what any other seven year old would do and screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran and jumped up onto a chair (not sure the logic there seeing as how bees can, well, fly). Since I was screaming bloody murder my mom came running around the corner to see what was wrong with me and in the process stepped right on the bumblebee and got stung. Right on the bottom of her foot.

She's still a little upset about that I think.

She swore that something like that would happen to me when I was a mother. So as I sat at the kitchen table yesterday enjoying a nice afternoon breeze (yes, in February we can open our doors and windows and let the warm, sunny breeze drift through our houses), I noticed something big fly inside, great. As it flew closer and closer to my innocent sleeping newborn I jumped into attack position. The thing is, I am STILL deathly afraid of any and all insects, especially ones in Texas. I thought about calling Ralphie but knew she would just laugh at me. Then I thought about trying to see if Gwen could kill it.

Finally the darn bee was getting too close to Ivy for comfort (is this my punishment for naming my daughter the name of a plant?), so I sprang to action, grabbed the nearest coloring book and went hog wild. I couldn't help but notice that I had no shoes on and that my mothers sting might finally be avenged. The bee flew off upstairs, so I had to chase it. I found a near empty can of ant killer spray, and figured that might do the trick. I chased the bee, spraying all the while. Finally we were in the kids bathroom and it was on the big chance. The thing was going to be ticked if I didn't do it quick and accurately. So I aimed and shot spray left. None. So, my survival skills kicked in and a grabbed Gwen's conditioner and drowned the little bugger right there on the windowsill. Then I ran like a baby out of the bathroom and stuck a towel in the door crevice just to be sure that if the bee wasn't really dead it wouldn't be able to get out and attack me. Whew.

Now I just have a big mess to clean up, but I keep waiting because I want to be sure that thing is good and dead and hasn't built some sort of fort in the conditioner and is waiting for me. Ewww.

I used to kill spiders with hairspray all the time, it was quite effective, but I am not sure about this whole conditioner thing. Pretty messy.

Anyway, all is fair in love and war right?

Monday, March 2, 2009

You've got to be kidding me....

Okay, so you thought funny things happened to me? Wrong. Check out this blog post of someone in Blaine's aunts ward, it's pretty hilarious!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Because you asked.

Just because I love you, and I happened to take a picture of me and my girls today (it's Ivy's one month birthday today! Well, kind of, technically it was the day between yesterday and today but that only happens once every four years.). And this was only leaving the dye in for five minutes until I became too terrified to continue, imagine if I had let it sit the full thirty!

And please, don't mind the triple chin, I just had a baby people.

And did you know one of the benefits of having a sibling just 16 months older than you is that they make sure your mom washes behind your ears? That's right. He was not disappointed (Luckily in honor of it being Ivy's one month birthday she got a bath....she gets so few that it is embarrassing. Remember how with your first kid they got a bath like every day? Yeah, now it's only on special occasions.)

Might be dye-ing....

One of the things I look forward to the most after having a baby (besides the juice, oh yeah and NOT being pregnant anymore) is dying my hair. After Gwen I am pretty sure it was the first thing I did once we got home from the hospital. So, I have had my dye for a while now. A nice dark dark brown (despite what my mother and "hair thursdays" recommendations). And since my hair only holds color for like one week, I got some super duper dye made for people whose hair does not hold color well (smart I thought).

I noticed that this particular box of dye seemed particularly concerned about its users having an allergic reaction to the dye. I wasn't too concerned because most dyes have some box asking you to do an allergy test, which I have never done. Though it did seem weird that the entire back of the box was plastered with warnings, all of which went into much more detail than other boxes. Still though, I had used this brand of dye before just not this particular "super strength" kind. And also I am not allergic to anything I know of. So I wasn't too concerned.

Today was the day. I decided to bite the bullet and dye my hair. I applied the dye. Then as I was waiting I decided to read the pamphlet that the dye came with. These people were serious about being allergic to dye. The directions for use were about 1/10th of the page and the other 9/10ths informed you of all of the horrible things that could happen to you if you were allergic to it. Then I noticed in a box in the middle that was like "Even if you've used this brand of dye still do the allergy test" and "Even if you aren't allergic to anything ever still do the skin test"

And I started to panic.

It's like the freaking box was reading my mind and taking away all of my comfort about not doing the allergy test.

Then it listed all of the horrible things that could happen. Like did you know that your skin could become depigmented temporarily or PERMANENTLY. Uh.... and it didn't actually say it, but it kind of made me think I might die if I was allergic.

Then it said, if you start to feel any itching to rinse it out. Just then I felt like I had a thousand mosquito bites on my head. I couldn't stop itching. As I itched I read that it also might burn. Then my head felt like it caught on fire. By the time I got to the... "tightness in the chest and feeling like you might faint" I was in the shower rinsing the poison out of my hair.

I think it was all a hypochondriac reaction to the dye. But I won't know for 48 hours. So if I drop dead, please refer to my "25 words" post for further instruction...

(on the upside now my hair is a funky color, half dark, half natural, kind of fun-kay)