Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Lies, Darned Lies, and Statistics...

There is safety in numbers. I bet you always just took that to mean that when in a group of people you are safe when you are, say, walking down a dark street at night or something. I propose, however, that the majority of people also believe that there is safety in numbers, as in statistics.

As soon as someone hears about my fear of flying they spout off numbers, like how I am three times more likely to die while flossing my teeth or whatever. Blaine finds safety in so many numbers. What are the odds that a tornado will occur in our city, and if it does-- what are the odds that it will track over our neighborhood, and if it does that then what are the odds that it will actually b-line over our house? He is so comforted by that.

I, on the other hand, am not. I figure if there is a one in a million chance, I might as well be the one. Usually I think that more about the bad stuff (airline disasters, rare diseases, tornadoes, etc.), as opposed to winning the lottery. Speaking of did you hear about the girl who got struck by lightning and then, the day she got out of the hospital, won the lottery? Well, "win" is used loosely, she won $20 in the lottery, but still. The odds of that happening are very slim.

But to the "one" who beats the odds, who makes most statistics "99.9%" as opposed to a clean 100% life can be very surprising, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad.So even though I expect to beat the odds for most bad things, I never anticipated beating the odds on this. A certain product faithfully used in this household claims that there was only a .01% chance of this...


happening. In fact if you add that to the fact that I am nursing, it makes that chance even smaller. Added to the fact that I have not had a period since 2006 and it is even less likely. Add all that to the fact that it took a year of trying and some medication to get lil' Bentley, and I'd say I pretty well ought to go out and by myself a lottery ticket!

This is not a joke. This was not in the plan. This has knocked me off of my feet. I don't feel ready. I don't feel able. I don't know if I am up to the challenge, since it is, indeed, a lifelong challenge.

So....here's to vomiting, and here's to backaches, and here's to vomiting again, and sleepless nights, and so on and so forth...and at the end of this very long and dark path hopefully there will be a beautiful little light at the end of the tunnel....so here is to a new little Bassett, new little toes, new smiles and laughs, and a lifetime of memories, and I am sure happiness beyond measure.

It is going to take time to wrap my mind around this whole thing, but my list of "pros" is getting slightly longer and I am finding my eternal list of "cons" shrinking rapidly.

There have been tender mercies like the miraculous weight loss of 08. It took two and a half years to lose those stubborn last 30lbs with Gwen (yes, I know I said 30lbs and that most of you don't gain even that much throughout an entire pregnancy, shush), but it came off better with Bentley and I think Heavenly Father must have known that would help me (as lame as that sounds) accept this new challenge.

I know it sounds weird to think of pregnancy as a trial especially when so many out there are wishing and praying for it every day, and when so many others face such more insurmountable trials. I am not naive to the fact that there are so many heartaches happening right now, which made me feel so guilty that I had a hard time accepting this, but to be honest I did. And it is going to take some hashing out of feelings and some more nights crying in my pillow before I can embrace the situation, but embrace it I will, I am confident. Soon enough. It may be about four, or five, or twenty years from now, but I know this will be worth it in the end. Kind of funny, I had to teach a lesson this last week on eternal perspective. Poetic justice.

So, mark the date, February 7, 2009 (Happy Anniversary Stef!) and pray for the little duker. He can't be getting much nourishment with me eating only bread and Bentley still nursing, but man, if anyone has a will to survive, he does : ) ( I say he, but I really mean she, because I am confident it will be a girl)

And I know this is like, super duper early to be telling people. I know, but the way I see it, if something awful happens I will need y'alls support, so why not let you in while everything is going well, so you can celebrate with me (or uh watch my kids while I am too sick to see straight) right?

So, that's a wrap. Go out there and beat the odds, be the .01%, it makes you feel kind of victorious, in a severely nauseating kind of way. :)

P.S. I bet your husbands were not nearly so surprised about their father's day gifts as Blaine was....I captured it on film and if I ever figure out how to put stuff on youtube, you will most certainly be able to see it!

36 comments:

Gretchen said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

I'm so surprised, I don't even know what to say so I can't imagine how you must be feeling! What would that be like?!?!?

Congratulations and let me know how I can help! I'm excited for you!

TheMoncurs said...

Holy. Shiz.

I should say more about how it must have been meant to be and congratulations and all that stuff. But seriously. Holy shiz. Bentley isn't much older than Wes and I think if I saw that I would pee my pants.

Andrea L. said...

Hey Kristi - I heard the news - WOW. I always hear of that happening to people and I am glad it never did to me (kindof kidding). You will do great - at least Ben is more than 6 weeks old. Grandma Winder had only 11 months between my mom and Kent (twins)and when Doug was born. There definately is a special place in heaven for her. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. My thoughts are DEFINATELY with you:) I would LOVE to see the video. BTW - you put the date Feb 7, 2007 - won't it be 2009? I hope. GOOD LUCK. See you in a few weeks.

Kristi said...

2007, see I am already losing it, yep there will be no time traveling for this birth, 2009!

Kristina said...

Kristi--
You are awesome and great. That's all I have to say. :)

--Kris

Kristina said...

Oh, and good luck!!
--Kris

running stamper said...

Kristi,
Congratulations!! What a surprise! You are such a great mom-you will be okay. Having two that are 15 months apart and two others that are 18 months apart I know it can be overwhelming. Hang in there!!

Julie Nordgren

Jana said...

Kristi, I've been blog stalking you for a while now (I went to BYU with Janssen, read her blog, clicked on yours, the rest is history) and I completely love you. Seriously, your front door story was hilarious. I read it out loud to my husband. Your Wal-mart angst was quite timely as I was having the same struggle. . . and Wal-mart won. But I mostly love and admire your honesty. This baby must REALLY want to come now, and I know you'll be fine. :) Thanks for all the good reads!

Ralphie said...

WHAT THE????

Just kidding. I mean oh, so NOW you go and decide to tell every one. Just when I thought I would burst from secret keeping.

Just let in all hang out there. Right on the internet. Now, don't you feel better?

Melissa Ash said...

Congrats???!!! I really don't know what to say. I get nervous about that, and my baby is almost 2!! It would still terrify me!! Anyway! I know you will be fine. YOu are wonderful! This "little duker" as you called he/she, must really want to come be part of your family!

Strong Family - said...

Congrats! I so knew it the second I saw your email yesterday ("Uh, something came up and I have to go to the doctor). Let me know when you need me to watch your kids! Or pick you up a few things at the grocery store (but they have to be normal things that I would know). :-) Lauree

nickwb said...

You are maw deece Kris. I am so excited for you guys. I know that it is stressful and hard, but you can do it. You are a great writer by the way! Thanks

Stephanie T said...

Congratulations!!!
So from my experience those "heavenly surprises" end up being the Best! And from having 2 sets of 17 1/2 month apart kids you will do great! You are a great energectic mom, which is fabulous because you will need it:-) The first year may be hard, but then they will be best buds for life, and you couldn't pay enough money in the world to get that kind of experience for your kids. It's totally different then usual siblings. I loved it so much with my boys, that I did it on purpose all over again. Let me know if you need anything.

Allisun said...

Congrats! I think, that's the appropriate term. You'll be great, and if you need someone to talk to about the sickness, I'm your girl. I will only give empathy, no advice! I'm excited that you are coming and going to hang out with me, while we are both prego! Yea!!

Meet The Thompson's said...

Dear Kristi -

I too love to read your blog -
You might wonder who this is?I'm sure in High school you knew my sister martha and probably knew I was her sister. After all we were in Blaine's ward. but probably never really met. But anyways back to the point - being a mother scares me. But I see mother's like Kate on Jon and Kate plus 8 on TLC ( i know cheesy) and I love how involved the Lord is in their life. So if you ever need a break look them up online or watch the show - it might give you a brake!!

Jael thompson

Sheyenne said...

Holy crap.
It's up to God I guess. He decided to send you one and nothing you were going to do was going to stop it.

Julie said...

CONGRATS!!! I called it on the Oakcrest website, didn't I? I'm excited for your adventure and that I can be a part of it through your blog!

Shauna said...

I have a third child that proved those exact same statistics wrong as well(nursing/no period/birth control), so I feel your pain. (Spencer and Sophie are 15 months apart). I cried and cried and cried some more, which is perfectly okay to do, I've decided. Can I just say, though, now that they are a little older, I LOVE having my kids so close together in age and they are the best of buddies. That didn't help at all during the vomiting and dehydration trips to the ER during my pregnancy, though. So, if you ever want to vent to someone who's been there, call me. Or email. Or chat. Oh, and the doctors told me to stop nursing Spencer, because it's too much to ask of your body to support two little people at the same time. Just something to ask YOUR doctor about. Oh, and congratulations!

Sarah said...

I forgot to mention the other day that my sister, the love child born 12 months after my little brother, and I are best buds and I'm so glad that she came when she did. If you ask my mom, she's glad too - now... You can do this! We love you! Call us anytime for help, too.

Kathrin Paul said...

Kristi, you are a SUPERSTAR! Out of my parents 5 kids, only one of them was planned. So, statistics rock. I loved the post, you really are so clever! You're amazing and everything will be ok! So. Yippee!!

Alison said...

I have heard that it is actually easier for some women to get pregnant while they are breastfeeding. All those natural hormones flowing i guess. I was still nursing grace when i got pregnant with Eleanor... I get uber sick too so i feel your pain!!!!! congratulations!!

Bart said...

You don't have to pretend this wasn't planned, Kristi. 17 months is perfect. Talk about good, pioneer stock!

Kristi said...

Bart, dude, that's not funny.

Seth and Sierra said...

I thought there was something more to the "something came up and had to go to doctor" story. I was just going to call you tomorrow to ask, but I saw this!
All I have to say is, WOW!!
Maybe if it's a girl, Porter could date her someday ;)
I would love to see that video, by the way :)

Seth and Sierra said...

Oh! And, congrats :)...you're an awesome mom :)

Marcie said...

Fiddle... was your talking about selling your things at yard sale some sort of ESP underneith it all?

I truly am so excited for you!! If I could take away some of the sickness I would. Many prayers for you and baby Basset!!

Melissa Ash said...

Now that Marcie said that, I have to wonder, Fids. You did sound like it could happen. Maybe that opened the door! No, just kidding!
I really wanted to apologize for being negative in my last post. You really are wonderful, and will do a great job. It was the Lord's choice, so it will be amazing! This little one needs to be in your family, NOW! You will be blessed with the ability to handle whatever comes your way! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

JoAnna said...

I so appreciate your candid-ness. It is this honesty and real-ness that makes me love you so much!! I know I would feel much the same way and my youngest is 3 1/2! I really appreciate you sharing. And in spite of all the coming to terms with it stuff, CONGRATS!! It will be so worth it. And just look forward to two things---
1) When they are two and three y/o and playing together and keeping each other occuppied while you sleep in or get dinner made.
2) When they are older teenagers and in college and sitting around your kitchen table joking and laughing and planning.
It will all be worth it... It really really will. There will be so many precious moments to come. So when you're ready to hang your head in despair, take a moment, do it, and then REMEMBER!!

Jill said...

Oh please, please, please don't let this happen to me!!! Ahhhhhhh! Just jokin that was messed up of me. Congrats! You know this was only allowed to happen because you can handle it. Otherwise God would never have trusted you. So good job to you for being so dang awesome!

Robin said...

amen and amen to the encouragement and congrats all written above. remember how elder ballard put raising chilluns in perspective? "...the early years in a child's life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent's normal life." Soaking up each moment - the ones that make you cry and the ones that make you laugh and all those, uh, other ones. 'Cause they say it passes so quickly. Sure think you're neato. p.s. post the video!

kateworthi said...

Kris- CONGRATS! You are amazin'! And HOly COW! But it will be great. You can do it. Ditto to everyone else's advice. I just love you and wish I could be there for you to watch G and B while you'll be so sick. I'm thinking of you and hope you'll do okay! :) LOVE!

McCulloch Family said...

wowzers! Some of the best things in life are those that are not chosen by us. Keep smiling and keep that glass half full!! And.... RUN out and buy that lottery ticket :)

Seth and Sharon said...

I had the exact same experience but with number ONE! Good Luck!

Kimberly said...

Congratulations! As I was reading an earlier post, you mentioned the pregnancy so I had to go back through three pages of posts to find this one that tells how it all went down. So that tells me, one, you are one heck of a blogger and I just love reading yours, two, you don't caption your posts to say "I am pregnant" or something simple and plain, and finally three, you are so awesome and will continue to be! One lucky baby boy is on his way and you'll be so happy he is!

Kimberly said...

And oh, by-the-way, who in the world gets 33 comments? I'm happy if I have just one of those numbers!! Consider yourself loved, for sure!

Bart said...

I think that Ivy and our baby and B&Ralphie's new baby will all be friends. Don't you think?