Isn't It?

I've long professed that I never got "the talk" when I was young. I felt grossly ill-prepared for growing up and definitely for getting married. The more I think about it the more I realize that maybe I did get the talk and because it was so traumatic I just blocked it from my memory entirely. Either way, I feel determined that my kids and I should have an open dialogue about that kind of thing and that I need to start breaking the ice with Gwen.

I'm not exactly sure but it seems that it was around second grade that boys started saying things that might require some sort of an explanation to kids of the more innocent variety. So over the summer I was bound and determined to get the dialogue started.

So I did my research and found some recommended books, then one day found  one of them ("It's So Amazing") at the library and brought it home amidst thirty other books Gwen and the kids had chosen.

Of course I wasn't prepared to actually read it to her at that point. >> I << was going to read it, get a grip, come up with a plan and then we would read it together. Foolproof.

It's been really great lately in that once in a while my kids will actually do something together. It requires a lot of begging and usually ends in tears and violence, but for brief moments I catch a glimpse of cooperative play, and it's a Godsend.

On a particularly hectic day I pleaded with Gwen to just read a book to the other kids. I offered money, candy, etc. Eventually she agreed and I went about my business preparing dinner. I kind of zoned them out but a few minutes later I remember hearing her read the phrase, "it's so amazing!". It took a little too long for me to process what was happening (being that my seven-year-old was about to inadvertently have the talk with my three and four year old). When it finally did click I pounced on Gwen, grabbed the book. My wide-eyed children (wide eyed from my behavior or from the content of the book I will never know!) were extremely confused. And poor Gwen. I had to explain what the book was about and how I had gotten it for me and her, and then Ben and Ivy felt all cheated that she got a special book and Gwen ran off all blushing and horrified and I am pretty sure will never look me in the eyes again.

And...yeah. Set the tone perfectly for that open and honest dialogue I was hoping for. Whoops.