Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happily Ever After


Blaine has a big beef with romantic comedies. He thinks they create unrealistic expectations and is certain that no man can ever live up to his fictitious, romantic, spontaneous, thoughtful, flirty, knight in shining armor counter part. So whenever I complain that he never dances with me in the rain, or yadda yadda yadda, he comes back with, "the next time you stop me in the middle of a furious argument and kiss me, that is when I will start dancing in the rain." Apparently the women of romantic comedies are setting unrealistic expectations for us too. Because seriously, I would never EVER kiss anyone in the middle of an argument. EVER. And that does seem to happen a lot in romantic comedies.


Keeping that in mind...


I have a bad habit of dumping glasses of cold water on him when he is in the shower. I think it is a remnant of my girls camp counselor past. Back then it was seen as a token of love when someone would dump cold water on you in the shower-- the bigger the bucket and the colder the water, the more the person respected you. It's true. And so I still get a thrill of sneaking a glass into the bathroom and hearing Blaine's shrieks as I dump the water on him. It gives me a rush.


The other day I had just finished showering, blow drying my hair, putting on my make up, etc. I happened to be wearing my last clean pair of underclothes and my last clean pair of pants (apparently I am on a laundry strike). I took the toothbrushes out of the toothbrush holder and filled it up with water and went in to the shower and dumped the water on Blaine. It was out of love. Really. And it's not like it was even that cold.


To my surprise he chased me down, and while normally I am quick and get out of the area before he can strike back with a cup of his own; this time he caught me. And he didn't dump a cup of water on me. He threw me, all primped and pampered for the day, into the tub, with the shower on. And held me in there. For a long time.


I was drenched.


I was furious.


He said if it were a romantic comedy I would have smothered him with kisses.


So I punched him in the gut and didn't talk to him for four hours.


Jerk.




17 comments:

TheMoncurs said...

If it were a non Disney romantic comedy it actually would have ended in booty.

Melissa Ash said...

Okay, this is hilarious!! I wouldn't DARE do that to my hubby, because he wouldn't talk to me for days, maybe longer!! But, I do remember the good old days of Oakcrest past, and luckily NEVER, in four summers, got water dumped on me in the shower, though did it many times to others!!! :) Fun memories!!!

Melinda said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheyenne said...

HA! You totally deserved it Kristi.

McCulloch Family said...

HA!!!!! I do that all the time!!! It's so fun to sneak in and hear the scream/shriek!!! Also hilarious that he caught you did quadruple payback! :}

I totally disagree with him on the unrealistic expectations, Trey totally bursts into song in the middle of our lives at any given time... all the time... complete with fake birds singing along. Seriously, that's really weird that Blaine doesn't do that.

Janssen said...

I wouldn't know about kissing in the middle of an argument because Bart and I never ever argue. ;)

Blaine said...

Thank you Sheyenne and everyone else who supports me on this. She DID deserve it, and it was one big payback for countless times she has gotten me over the years. I snapped, what can I say?

I do want to set the record straight though about "holding her in there for a long time". I did no such thing. Kristi was laughing as I jumped out and grabbed her but the second her flailing foot crossed the line of scrimage from the bathroom to the actual bath, I knew she was pretty mad. What with the screaming and cursing and all. It was then that I kind of lost control of her--she sort of slipped and ended up in the tub for awhile because she fell, not because I intentionally kept her in. Au contraire, I was pretty sure if I didn't find a way to get her out soon I was going to lose a lot more than just a kiss by the time we got finished.

It's a small difference but there it is, for what it's worth. Yeah, I guess the point is, things in real life just happen. They aren't pre-scripted to look out of control but really kind of cute, they actually are out of control and are rarely anything but annoying. Except maybe for the truly romantic. Kris and I are obviously still working on that.

(P.S. Kristi, in her fierce anger, took every towel in the house and hid them. Except for one that Gwen found somehow and hooked me up with, much to my joy and Kristi's dismay. Again, not cute, not romantic, just cold and wet and annoying! :)

Ralphie said...

Kris, dumping cold water on someone repeatedly gives them the right to dunk you. I'm sorry. It's law.

But nice one with the towels.

JoAnna said...

Agreed. (With Ralphie and Blaine.) You deserved it, girl! ;) It's just the rules of the game. Payback is a b*%$#.
But I am cracking up about you hiding the towels. It all just seems so cute and adorable and (in a way) romantic. Except the you being so angry part.

Joe(y) Speredon said...

Go Blaine!!!

meleah said...

kristi, This is why you are still keeping a blog!!! I was laughing so hard! I could never imagine pouring cold water on Ferg while he was in the shower! I just couldn't do it.
But I do have to say that if you dish it out you've got to expect some coming back to ya.

Robin said...

This was awesome funny. Great write-up :).

Jill said...

Completely genius. On both ends. You guys never have a dull day around there do you? And I LOVED the way you described Blanes "womanesque" screaming over the mice. I'm probably going to laugh about that all night.

Emily K. said...

You are a crack up! You should write love stories, you both sure know how to show the love. I think if I did that to Chris...well, I hate to think about what might be the outcome. Thanks for showing us boring people how to be in love and have a good time!

Karen said...

ok - emily posted a link on her blog to this post, and recommended that i comment so you don't think i'm a stalker or anything. so because i apparently have to do everything emily tells me, i am doing so. and that was hilarious! your relationship sounds a little like my own with my husband...
enjoyed the post.

SalGal said...

My sister said to leave a link so you would know I am a stalker.

Great story!

Tammy said...

Emily said this was a funny post. She was right! Thanks for the laugh!