I am working on cleaning out our garage (yes, I have been working on this for a year--yeah I know, I know, we have only lived here a year). I opened a box and came across my old high school journal. My old Junior High journal has been floating around the house for a while (hence the whole Bryce C. incident), and it is fun to pick up occasionally and glance through. I had to laugh when I opened my high school journal; on the first page there was an index, and I had written
12-9-1998 My very first kiss
1-31-1999 The prophet came to stake conference
2-28-1999 The perfect prom date
7-31-1999 My first "I love you"
8-21-1999 My first complete rejection from someone I love
Wow. That's intense, and just a few short weeks after my first I love you. It was all so sad and traumatic and hard to go through. I wish someone would have told me that life, indeed, was not over; and that things would work out. Whether or not with Blaine, they would have worked out. It wasn't the end of the world, but boy did it ever feel like that.
It was actually a good reality check. Some things seem so big and so hard and so trying at the time but hopefully five years from now I will be able to look back and realize how not a big deal it was. I think we like to call that "eternal perspective".
Anyway, I am sure more will come as I read through my journal (which certainly can't take long seeing as how I only wrote once a month--- at best!). I think my entry about being so sad that Blaine had left on his mission was followed, on the next page, by the entry that I was engaged to Blaine (if only those two years had gone as quickly as that made them seem!).