Saturday, September 12, 2009

iphoney

Have I mentioned that my phone got washed? As in went-through-an-entire-cycle-of-our-washing-machine washed?

It was sweet really. I was having a hard day and heading out the door and teasingly said to Blaine, "you better finish doing all of our laundry while I am gone." Which was really a joke because I had just done all of our laundry. But good ol' Blaine, he found the clothes I had just changed out of as well as a whole bunch of clothes in a laundry basket (which I had just gotten out of the drier but hadn't folded, but I digress...) to wash.

Unfortunately my phone was in my pants. On the good word of the entire facebook population, I put the phone in a bag of rice and let it sit for several days. But it was too far gone and when I tried to turn it back on it let out a few courtesy vibrations and a couple flashes and then died once and for all.

So I've been searching for a new phone. I've always gotten the basic model. I don't text or do anything fancy. But getting a new phone would commit me to it for TWO years, that's a long time!

And Blaine's dad has this really awesome iphone

and

and

and

internet EVERYWHERE I GO! Google maps right at my finger tips! Plus you just push a button and say "call Ralphie" and it does it. Who wouldn't want that?

Well, I still didn't particularly care but happened to be looking at the att website the other day and navigated away to another page when from across the room Blaine squeeled (screeched? yelled? bellowed?) "WAAAAAIIIIIIIT, GO BACK! WHAT WAS THAT...GO BACKKKKKKK"

and back I went.

He had seen over my shoulder that the iphone now has a "rhapsody" app.

and oh my, even I could hear the hallelujah chorus going in Blaine's mind.

It's like his dream, his number one fantasy, has come true!

All of his music, his phone, everything, on one device.

He had to have it. He simply just HAD to have it.

He was willing to get a second job, donate plasma, sell vital organs, ANYTHING to get his hands on this iphone.

And I can respect that, I really can. He doesn't ask for much in life, and have you seen the guys CD collection? I am confident he is musics biggest fan.

So I came up with a plan! A foolproof, happy, wonderful, amazing plan!

See his birthday is coming up in eleven days. So my plan was to tell him that we had to wait until Christmas to get iphones...make sure a few more rent checks clear... get settled in our new place... save some money... blah blah blah.

Then for his birthday I was going to buy some "fake" presents. You know...nice sweater, pocket protectors, corn nuts, the usual.

Then late at night when he thought it was just another birthday, just like every. other. birthday. I would pull out a cute little white package. His eyes would light up like fire. He'd unwrap it and suddenly not only would it be the best birthday EVER, but it would be the best day of his entire life.

And I would instantly become the best wife ever.

It was so perfect! So amazingly perfect.

He is always doing creative, fun, surprising stuff for our anniversary and I am always handing him new tube socks wrapped in wal-mart grocery sacks for all of his special occasions. It's embarrassing really.

So this was perfect!

But GOODnight. The guy would not stop talking about this stinking iphone. It was consuming his every thought. His every waking and sleeping moment was pure torture simply because the world's best gadget existed and he didn't have it.

On our drive up to the mountains yesterday I was like, "so... I've been doing a lot of thinking and" then he interrupted "AND WE SHOULD STOP AT THE ATT STORE RIGHT NOW AND GET MATCHING IPHONES!" to which I scoffed and said, "um no. I'm thinking we should wait till Christmas to get our iphones".

And then it was like world ended. I can only think of like two times I have ever seen him more distraught. Seriously, the blood drained from his face, he put his head in his hands and faintly whimpered, "really?".

And then during the whole campout it was like

"oh man, we are lost, if I had an iphone I could figure out where we are"
"if I only had an iphone I could be writing you love poetry RIGHT NOW"
"if I had an iphone we could watch LOST in the middle of the night while we are camping"
"if I had an iphone we could find better firewood"
"if I had an iphone there would be WORLD PEACE, would you deny the world of world peace? Really, WOULD YOU?"

and it persisted on and on until today I finally just belted out my secret.

And there will be no best birthday ever.

Because he ruined it.

But wasn't that such an awesome idea I had?

Please, validate me : )

12 comments:

Tom said...

delightful...I have missed your musings. I hope you're all settled and back on track now.

Janssen said...

So. . .do you now own two iPhones?

Janae said...

Great idea. I think you should have a rule. No buying yourself ANYTHING 30 days before a gift giving holiday. Travis never listens to that logic either. But if you can get Blaine to agree, it's a great solution.

Have fun with your iphone.

Kristi said...

Janae-

I totally agree to the rule now but HATED it as a kid. My birthday was in early December and I would sometimes get money to buy whatever I wanted but then I was told to not buy anything because Christmas was coming. It was like torture !

Janssen-- I opted to not get an iphone so we don't have to commit to spending an extra $60 a month on data plans right now, but if I find I simply cannot live without one I will have excellent leverage for getting myself one sometime. And technically Blaine doesn't have his yet either because the store was closed for the day by the time I belted out the secret.

So now I am sure he will have one within twenty four hours.

TheMoncurs said...

Dude, Aaron would not SHUT UP about his iPhone before or after getting it. And he's had it for a while now and it's still a pretty central topic of conversation. I kind of resent the iPhone just a little, even thought it's awesome.

Kristi said...

It is very unfortunate when husbands ruin our brilliant plans. Mine has done the exact things a number of times. Some men and their gadgets.;)
That was a very well planned and thoughtful idea!!

Stephanie said...

Kristi~Sid and I loved your comments! I hope to see more blogging from you as we have missed your delightful writing!

Sheyenne said...

Consider yourself validated. You had an awesome idea and Blaine ruined it. And now when his birthday comes and it sucks, he has no one but himself to blame! And you tell him I said so!

Angela said...

Make him a b-day treasure hunt with poetic and witty clues! The treasure? Pocket protectors. Gotta protect those pockets.

julianne orth said...

my husband ruins all of his surprises too, It makes me so mad, but he always seems to find out my big surprises too

Melissa Ash said...

I love Angela's idea!!!
This sounds way, WAY too familiar!! I think it happens just about every holiday!! I was thinking of getting my husband a new Upconverting DVD player for something, but when he saw it, he HAD to have it!! Etc...etc...etc...!! Love it!

PS, I think my father in law has the world's biggest CD collection!! It fills an entire room, 5 shelves high, and then spills out into other rooms, with massive piles!!! He loves his music!!! He even has the same thing with DVD's. I can go over there and find hundreds of movies I have never even heard of before!! Scary! He finally admitted he was a shopaholic when it came to his media!!

Aimee said...

I loved your musings about all the great things the iphone would've done for you while camping!

One year I bought Matt some awesome Sketchers for his birthday. Two weeks before his birthday we were at Kohls and he picked out the exact pair and bought them. I was so mad!