Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Rainy days and Sundays

I miss Texas the most on Sundays. I've been struggling trying to figure out why, because every Sunday I kind of just have a little pit in my stomach of homesickness.


I think it is the very hardest during church. First of all, I miss walking in to sacrament meeting and seeing Ferg and Bishop Howell up on the stand. I miss that when all of my kids start screaming simultaneously during the meeting and I turn to leave, Ish sticking her tongue out at me and I miss the empathetic looks of a hundred people who love my kids almost as much as I do. I miss sitting next to Sheyenne in Sunday school and exchanging witty remarks with Dario. I miss going to the nursing room to visit Gina (er....change Ivy's diaper I mean). Then I miss being in young women's and our four young women. I miss seeing Betsy at the piano and seeing Lauree's happy face conducting and hearing one of Robin's wonderful lessons.


Then I miss being late to pick up Bentley from nursery because I stopped to talk to every single person I saw in the hallways.

What I miss the most is that I knew every person in the hallways. I knew something about them. I knew what they did at the last talent show. They are people who have seen me at my worst and who love me anyway. They are kind, wonderful, amazing people. They are my favorite people.

And I think the best way to describe it, is that "in a crowded room I feel alone". That's not to say that eventually I won't know and love everyone in my ward (congregation), but it takes time. I hadn't realized how comfortable I was in Texas. I knew the people at the check out lanes at HEB, my banker, the parents at the preschool, my neighbors, my fellow church goers, the librarians. And here I just see strangers.

It's amazing to me you know...when a new person showed up at church in Round Rock they were almost bombarded with people introducing themselves and inviting them to dinner or dessert or something! It was almost hard to sneak an introduction in because they were so busy getting to know everyone. We've gone to our new ward for two weeks and no one has come and sat by me in relief society, no families have really introduced themselves to us in sacrament meeting, it's just so interesting the difference.

So way to go Round Rockians!

I miss you! Especially on Sundays.

18 comments:

Julie Allen said...

We miss you and your beautiful kids too!

Stephanie said...

Kristi~I can totally relate. You described it perfectly! Although all our wards have been welcoming, when you move you do feel out of whack. I go to meetings or things for school and feel alone in a room full of people. I told Sid that the reason it feels that way is because there is no shared history. I may meet new people and they may be wonderful but when you don't a history of any kind it is hard. Soon you will have some shared experiences to make you feel more at home.

Strong Family - said...

Sniff, sniff. It's raining today and I was just driving past Double Creek. I saw a car that looks just like yours and thought "Oh, there's Kristi!" Then I remembered. Sniff, sniff. We miss you in YW too. The witty remarks! Good luck with the new ward and I'm glad you have your bed back!!! :-) Lauree

Sheyenne said...

Hey Kristi,
Really nice post. That sucks that no one has introduced themselves or sat by you in RS. Sometimes we just have to take the bull by the horns ourselves. Next Sunday I want you to introduce yourself to someone and sit by them. I know you're the new person and you shouldn't have to be the one doing it, but just go ahead and be proactive. It'll be hard, but after time I'm sure it will pay off.

Kristi said...

I have visited a small town in Texas almost every summer since I was born. My dad is from Texas and I think of it like my second home. I know exactly what you mean. The ward we attended was small and our large family almost doubled their congregation. As soon as we walked in the door we were welcomed by everyone! And every year following we were greeted as close friends with the members remembering our names and specifics my parents had told in years past.
I Love Texas.
I want you to feel welcome here too! I have felt that same way in wards I have been in.
I'm not sure where you live, but if it is close to Provo, then you are officially invited over for Sunday dinner. Or maybe a play date if that is easier.
kristidorman at gmail dot com

Kristi said...

Thanks everyone! I know it just takes time. I will definitely do my part, and just as a side note, Blaine has had the opposite experience from me. He says the Elders Quorum is very proactively friendly, which is good!

Just want you all to know I miss you!

Kristi, you say the day and I will be there! We're in Lehi : ) We'd love to meet up for a playdate sometime. Well, sometime when I can actually get to the door over all of these cotton pickin' boxes.

julianne orth said...

i noticed that in my ward too, so when i got put in the relief society i personally took it upon myself to make new members feel like they have a friend. we have groups that we get together in and we have girls nights with them, and I really feel like it is working, but I the one that did it, but I am glad I have done it. i hope it get's better though.

Ralphie said...

It's it amazing how you don't realize how blissful your life was until something drastic is done to change it? I can remember you getting homesick for Utah every Sunday! So it's very hopeful that things will turn around soon. I totally agree with Sheyenne. Stick your neck out there! I always love the clean slate going into a new ward. Who knows what you did before or what groups your were involved in. It's great to because a new more outgoing self!

I love you and miss you too. Move back soon! Around February?

BTW, I tried to call you. What's going on with your phone? Call ME! Until then, I'll leave you in suspense!

Ralphie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

I have felt the same way from leaving California. It is a very big difference from going to church outside of Utah. It just means a lot more work here, which you can do. It also made me realize that when others move in here, how I want to act. Good Luck!

Jennifer said...

I could say a million things to you about church in Utah but I won't because it will all be negative. I hope that it will get better for you, I do. One of the reasons I wanted to move out of UT so bad was because of how much I missed feeling like part of a ward family and knowing and loving everyone in my ward and knowing they loved me. I'll pray for you Kristi because I really know how it feels and it's tough. I hated feeling lonely at church.

Melissa Ash said...

I felt the same way at first, too. I LOVED my Virginia ward SO MUCH! We would have gatherings with all the young couples at the Relief Society President's house, and invite all the new couples, once a month. I missed that feeling of being part of a group, and feeling in the same boat as everyone else. But now, after a few years, I finally feel the same way I did back then. We may not have dinners at the Relief Society President's house, but we have finally grown to be part of the ward family. It took a little longer here because the ward is much more diverse than it was there! Not as many young couples at first. But, I had to do the same thing, and pull away from my grandma and mother in law (both in this ward) and actually be the proactive one. Everyone knew my husband, and my parents, and so they didn't see a need to get to know me. So, I had to be the one to do it. You have just the right personality to go out and do that! Plus, you can be the one to call someone and say, "We need to have a play date. Who has kids our kids' ages?" You can do it!! I know you can!! It will just take time!!

haley said...

Sad! I think that I have felt that way in every ward I have been in. I hope that you get settled there soon and make lots of nice new friends!

Courtney said...

Aren't small wards the best? Thank you for reminding me why I like my ward. I don't know about you though there are some positives about large wards (just so you know these are jokes)
-You don't always have a HUGE calling (IE YW president and breastfeeding a new baby was really hard, Enrichment leader, RS teacher and one other calling I can't remember at the same time).
-You have breaks in between callings (sometimes YEARS I hear, I have never experienced this one in my life though, but I hear it happens)
Good luck you will find your nitch in the ward until then family is great.

Vee said...

Fids, this is how I have felt for the past year, I just didn't know how to write it down. But that is exactly it. I miss my ward in CT for those reasons too. Thank you for expressing this, so that I could read it and know I'm not alone. And don't worry, I think the reason it has taken me a year is because of going to school and not having to time to socialize. I'm looking forward to that changing very soon. Good luck. Someday you won't want to leave this new ward either, at least that is my wish for you.

Twinlinebackers said...

I am in the ward Vee just left. She told me to read your post - probably because after almost 6 years in this ward I feel the exact same way you do. I think I'm going to move to Texas!!

Rochelle said...

"Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with a grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that whatever place you have been, you may say that you lived happily." ~ Roman Philosophy

or

‘Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be’ - Abraham Lincoln

Good Luck on finding your place here, now come on, we need a positive post again:)....

Sarah said...

Ditto Kristi! Who would have thought that I would miss having a big huge ward with tons of nursery age children? Here, they don't give the sacrament to anyone who leaves the chapel - for any reason - it breaks my heart when Noel cries... but other than that, things are going o.k.