Am I crazy? Seriously be honest. I can take it.
A couple of months ago Blaine and I had this great idea to go to Utah for Christmas. We wouldn't be needing our vacation days for a while since we would have a little one coming soon, and Blaine had sick time he could use for that. We missed our families last Christmas and with our ever expanding and aging family this might be the last year we actually could make it home.
So it seemed smart. Somewhere along the line though I didn't do the math that I would be leaving when I was 33 weeks pregnant and returning when I was 35 weeks pregnant. I didn't think about how we were leaving 75 dg weather to go to 20 dg weather. Driving across the country with two little ones and a bladder the size of a nickel? Oh baby. I didn't consider that it would snow the entire week before we got there and likely on our drive and that we would have to go through one of the windiest, sheer cliffs on either side of you, canyons in Utah....in our van which we are not used to driving on mountainous and snowy terrain. I didn't count on both kids getting sick a few days before we are supposed to leave. And I must have forgotten the stress that comes with trying to visit two families and make it to all the events and fun things going on without running our kids (and pregnant selves) ragged.
So I've had a weird feeling about going back home lately, and I don't know if it is just my paranoid self being nervous for a long trip....or if it is something I should really pause and consider. Is someone trying to tell me I shouldn't go? Sure it would be disappointing to ourselves and everyone back home if we backed out now, and since I am so dang smart and shipped all of our gifts to Utah we wouldn't have anything to open on Christmas morning; But mama always said, "tis' better to back out than to bare a child on the side of a snowy road on a mountain pass".
Oh and one little bonus; there is talk around Blaine's work that they might be forced to take mandatory vacation in February. Well, Blaine is using all of his vacation right now, so if he is forced to take some in February we will either go negative on vacation days (agh! We've got a cruise coming up in a year folks...a cruise. Remember how I was supposed to be going on one like next month but I got pregnant instead? We're scheduled, and booked, to make up for that Jan 2010)...or we will just not get a paycheck. And I don't know about you all, but buying diapers for two kids is hard to do with no paycheck....not to mention paying the mortgage. Anyway..... (P.S. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything, trust me I would rather have to take a mandatory vacation than get laid off!)
What would you do? Am I just being paranoid? Don't worry, part of me, a huge part is so excited. My kids are so dang cute and I want to show them off (Bentley just learned how to fold his arms on command....cuteness!), I want them to be surrounded by the energy and love that comes from a Christmas around lots of family. I want them to build snowmen and eat my sisters candy cane cookies. So what is this nagging feeling about?
P.S. I kind of feel like my blog has gotten too serious lately. Is that driving anyone else crazy?