Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Kristi unplugged

Why do you blog?

I've given that question a lot of thought lately. I know why other people blog. Like Ralphie for instance. She blogs because she's a freaking amazing photographer. Lots of people read her blog because she offers simple and easy advice that, if you apply it, will enhance your ability to take pictures. I don't read her blog for that though, I read her blog because it's funny. And sometimes she posts pictures of my kids. See, if I used the advice she offered on her blog, my self portraits would look more like this



And a little less like this...

It also might help if I would lay off of the girl scout cookies.....moving on...

Janssen blogs to write awesome book reviews. They are thought provoking, inspiring, and thorough. If I were to write a book review about the book I finished today it would read...

"I just read Gregor the Overlander. It was nice. Kinda weird. Passed the time"

So that's why I don't write a blog about book reviews.

TAMN blogs to make fun of people

Plenty of people blog to keep in touch with family and friends and update others on their lives.

All of these are awesome reasons to blog, but none of them encompass why I blog.

I guess if I had to answer the question of why I blog, it would be that I blog as an outlet. I blog so that when I take two kids, two dogs, and a big fat pregnant belly to the vet's office and the dogs escape and the kids cry and the leash gets wrapped around my legs and I fall over and pee my pants in the process. . . that I can laugh it off and say "oh the blog readers are gonna love this."

So I guess I blog to try to help people not take themselves too seriously. I blog so I won't take myself too seriously. I blog so I can look back on these days and laugh, but more importantly I blog so that I can maybe laugh about it sooner rather than later. I blog to connect. I blog to seek empathy. I blog to let the world know that I am more than a washing machine, more than a chef, more than a milk producing body.

I blog so you can get to know me. And that's a little scary. There's been a whole "to do" in my little blogging community where feelings have been hurt, and mean words have been said, and to me it is just so sad....because I don't blog to hurt! I don't blog to belittle. And I don't think anyone should. And it scares me to think that people are free to comment on here and make me feel bad about stuff I post. Because when you read this blog, you are peeking into my soul, don't make fun of it!

Anyway. Why do you blog? And, more importantly, why do you read this blog? What do you hope to get when you come here?

I'm just curious, because I feel so guilty when I blog too many "mommy" blog posts in a row. And then I feel guilty that I feel guilty. So then I just don't write for a while. So then I feel guilty about that. So I am thinking of starting a new blog. One for just the ushy gushy mom stuff. One that I don't feel guilty updating with things that I love about being a mom, or things that are hard about being a mom, cute things my kids do, trials, and so on. And then just keeping this blog for the funny stuff. What do you think of that idea? I know Kayla must like it, that's what she does. And I think it is great. I love reading her mom blog too.

I've just been feeling bad lately that if I die and this record is all that is left of me, my kids will feel a little bit like I didn't dote on them like I should.

Do you feel like you censor your blog too, based on who you know is reading it? Not like I would rant and rave about everything if certain people weren't reading, but honestly, because of who reads my blog I don't feel like I can write all of the funny things that happen.

Like that time I was at Ralphie's house eating dinner with she and Brian and their kids and a piece of metal was poking out of my shirt. So I pulled on the metal, because, well, weird. And then figured out that I had just pulled out the underwire to my bra. At the dinner table. With Brian. Agh! What does a person do in that situation? Same thing yesterday when they came over to visit. After they left I noticed a circular wet spot on my shirt. Yeah, forgot about those nursing pads. But hello, my father in law reads this blog, and will read that story, and certainly that makes things awkward.

Anyway, just rambling now.

So, recap.

Why do you read my blog?

Why do you write your blog?

Do you censor your blog?

Same thing with facebook. I go to change my status and all I want to say is "Kristi is...engorged", but how do you say that when your entire extended family is reading? But how do you not say it, when it is really all that you are at the moment.

Random.

Sorry.

28 comments:

Allisun said...

Kristi,
I read your blog because you are funny and you make everyday things funny. I love hearing about it all, mom or not, engorged or not. I wrote a here's-what-I'm-thinking-at-the-moment kind of blog when I first started blogging, and I felt so...vulnerable. I thought, "Anyone can read this and know what is going on inside of me!" I felt what I call, emotionally naked. It was way too awkward for me, so now I only blog so people can see how cute my baby is. I love reading real things on other people's blogs though, so I hope other people can let the inside out.

Thora said...

Hi, just your friendly neighborhood blog stalker here - the one that was in Oxford, and now is in Ohio. Anywho, first of all, congratulations on Ivy!

Then, I read your blog because once I clicked over to it from Martha's blog, and I couldn't stop laughing. It was the poop/San Antonio story, I believe. And you were so funny. I'm a stay at home mome too, at that time with one daughter, and I know that sometimes it can be hard to find the funny in ones own life. And yet you do it time and again. Plus I like your "voice." Whether you're talking about your kids or the vet or buying a van or whatnot. So I guess I read your blog for the same reason you write it - which counts as a success on your part, right?

As for your other questions, I started my blog because I was leaving BYU and Utah and my family and wanted a way to keep in touch with friends and family. That's still half the reason I blog. The other half is that I've found I love to have a public forum to post my quirky thoughts on. I can post whatever I want, and frankly even if I'm being self aggrandizing, it doesn't really matter, because no one is forcing anyone to read my blog.

I became part of the larger "Mormon Blogger" community, and then I started to worry "will this post appeal to people who don't know me, if it's just a "mommy" post?" or if I post too many of my abstract thoughts, my Mom begins to complain about the lack of pictures and stories about the girls. And then I worry that years from now my daughters will wonder why I didn't talk about them more. So I find myself, if I think about it, trying to please all groups, and therefore probably pleasing none of them. So then I'll avoid my blog for a few days, until something pops up in my mind, and I dash it off unthinkingly. And then I re-resolve to not worry what everyone else will thing.

So in a nutshell, yeah, I worry about who will read it. (And yes, I do censor as well...)

Janae said...

I read your blog for posts like this. I don't dare write half the stuff I would like to write on my blog. Too many people I know read it. Like today how I had a pretty crappy day and everyone involved reads my blog. Can't go about offending people now can we? If I wrote all about my day I would offend at least 6 people.

So maybe I should make a private blog that no one reads where I can write such experiences. But then whats the point?

BTW if you are wondering who I am, I met you at Oakcrest. I worked with Timber a different year than you. Yeah I was THAT weird girl who really wanted to meet you. Why? Not because I am crazy freakish girl, but because you are hilarious. Okay maybe I am a bit freakish.

Wendy said...

I can't say why I blog - since I don't blog. I journal. I'm not brave enough to blog. But I think it is great that you do because I feel like I know you so much better because of it and to know you is to love you!

Ralphie said...

Kristi,

I blog because you blog.

As soon as you stop, that's it, I'm done.

Yours affectionately,
the girl who has to hyper extend her arm to take a self portrait.

Liz Applegate said...

I read your blog because I love to read your blog. You are so fun to read. A good writer... Besides, I think Bret would also laugh about the "blouse spots" - I would!

Jennifer said...

I read your blog because frankly, you make me laugh and sometimes it's the only laugh I've had in a while. (This is also why I watch Ellen DeGeneres on occasion) Seriously, you are too funny and I feel like I've gotten to know you better through your blog. As far as my blog goes....it's been dead for a while. Mostly because I feel inadequate in my blogging abilities. I read your blog and it's funny and witty and just plain great and then I go to write my blog and well, it just doesn't compare. I read other people's blogs too and they always have something great to write about. A trip somewhere, a new baby, a wonderful something their husband did for them. I just don't have any of that going on. Anyway, I'm on a tangent now. Maybe I should discover the reason I blog so I can get back to it. =)

Oh, and facebook, just so you know, you can edit which of your friends can see your status update. Did you know that? I started doing that because why do I want my old high school friends that I'm really not great friends with anymore (yet feel too guilty about taking them off of my friends) to see that I'm having PMS or something? Still, I do edit that status. Anywho, this is a really long comment so I'll shut it now.

Strong Family - said...

I read your blog because you make me laugh. You also live like a mile away and yet I hardly ever get to just "chat" with you...so this way I keep a little up to date with your funny stories.

I blog because it's our family journal. I used to try to keep a journal for all my kids and this is SO much easier. I guess you could say I censor for my kids. I try not to gripe about them, but do record the goods and some of the bads. I basically write it as "how will my kids feel reading this someday." I also try not to include anything that might make Dallin embarassed. :-) I don't censor for adults. If they don't want to read my gushy mommy posts they don't have to. Nobody is forcing them!

P.S. We missed you at mutual. We played fun games and you would have made it even more entertaining. :-)

Angela said...

Kristi, your blog is the first thing I check on the computer after my email, and my own blog of course. I read yours because, well, it's always a riot! I feel the same way you do about feeling guilty not posting enough stuff about the kids. And even though I love, love, love them, it seems like the stuff I post on there is always neutral or even negative about them, about the struggles and frustrations of being a Mom. I feel like my blog is a journal, except I know that my friends and family are going to read it. So I don't want to put anything that other people can't relate to, such as tons of cute, quirky things my kids do (which is really interesting to me, but may not be to everyone else in the world).

Blogging is an interesting phenomenon. I'm with you though, I blog to connect. I hate scrapbooking, it feels like another to-do. If I feel duty-motivated to update my blog, it won't happen. It's only if I feel like I want to share something. So I just post whatever I feel like, and don't feel guilty about it!

On the other hand, that was needless to say.

Gretchen said...

I read your blog because it's ALMOST as good as still being in the same ward with you. :) And of all the blogs I read, I feel like yours is the most like mine. It makes me laugh. It makes me feel less alone, in every sense.

I blog so I can laugh at the hard times. Kind of like what you said. I blog so I have something to think about and look forward to while I'm doing dishes (as IF that ever ACTUALLY gets done around here...) I blog because I'm not afraid to say whatever and I think we all need to hear that sometimes. If I offend some people, I'm sorry. But I hope that some people smile because I told it like it was. I guess I have no shame. I know what you mean though about feeling restricted a little. I have established a primarily humor-based blog. I like it this way, but it does mean I fell like I can only blog about something if I'm going to make it funny. Which means I have to be ready to laugh about it. I also worry all the time that it seems like I don't utterly and absolutely adore my kids. I do, but that's not funny most of the time. My kids will just have to know that the fact that they are the best kids on the whole planet (sorry everyone else) and that I love them to death just isn't great humor blog fodder. Oh well.

Seth and Sierra said...

I read your blog because I like knowing what's going on in my friends lives! I'm so glad you blog because when I read your blog, I laugh and it's almost like I'm down in Texas with you again!

I write a blog mostly so my family knows what's going on in my life and so I can keep in contact with friends. We've moved so many times, it's hard to keep in contact with everyone you get to know.

As far as censoring? I think I do a little. Mostly, I censor personal information like my address, but other than that...maybe I censor a bit of my life...like things I know no one is going to want to read...stuff like that.

Another thing...you don't need to say you're sorry for asking simple questions. :)

Miss ya and congrats again! Ivy is beautiful!

Janssen said...

Oh, I censor. I can imagine a perfect world where I have a bazillion readers but none of them ever know if I'm talking about them. Wouldn't that be awesome?

And your blog is one of my favorites. Because, duh, you're so awesome. And I know it's not just because you invite me over to dinner, because I have had many many friends say "hey, your friend Kristi? I found her blog and she's SO FUNNY." And when Kayla weeded out her Google Reader ruthlessly, you made the cut. THAT, my friend, obviously puts you in the top tier.

Also, the phrase "to do" is so awesome I want to hug you. In an awkward manner.

Bart said...

I agree with everybody that your blog is great, even if some posts are apparently off-limits to me and other manly men (which I appreciate, btw).

Keep blogging. Censor as necessary, but not so much that it's boring. I think you've already got a pretty good balance going.

I don't know why I blog. I've been trying to figure that out. I'll let you know if I do.

Sarah said...

First of all, I read your blog because you're my friend and love to stay in touch. Second, you're HILARIOUS! I love reading your blog. So does Joey. He literally thinks you're one of the funnies people. HE told me the other day that you're one of his favorite people. That says alot! Anyway, I love reading your blog because you make EVERYTHING funny. I censor sometimes because of certain people. But you're doing great!

Meet The Thompson's said...

I censor! but I think it would be cool to have two...

I blog because my sister started and its fun to read others when I'm a work. I also see it as a memory maker...I want to use my camera more and right down the fun things I do.

I don't think i'm super funny, so i doubt I have this massive audience, but I wouldn't want to offend anyone. Its not nice.

So i blog to BE IN...its the cool thing to do.

Megan Kroff said...

I've had many of those same thoughts cross my mind, and then I just continue to blog and be who I am--so take it or leave it.

You have to know that I read your blog because I think it's funny and very comforting to know those same things are happening in our home. It's almost spooky to know that there are other families out there dealing with the exact same embarassing, stressful, sad, funny things that I am.

Personally--I think your blog is perfect the way it is. My father-in-law keeps telling me that he loves blogs because I'd never blurt my stories out when we're all just sitting around and he likes knowing the real things that happen in our home. I think that is exactly why I love my blog. I can open up with out looking in someones eyes and no body has to read it. It's their choice. It makes me feel like I'm staying better connected with people--family or not.

Marcie said...

Fiddle, your blog is seriously my favorite. It is always the first one I check. You make me want to be a better blogger.

I used to write freely until I realized that my boss had found my blog. Awkward. Needless to say I am a bit censored. And so it goes/

So keep posting about anything you think about--- because thats real life- and we are all in real life... you just bring a better light to it.

Brooke said...

Umm, I read your blog because it's one of a few things in life that makes me laugh out loud- on a regular basis. So thank you for that. And I blog mainly so I can record what goes on in my life- it's my journal that others can read and so i won't feel so guilty about not keeping a real journal.

Webb Family said...

I am going to start reading your blog regularly. Tonight is the first time I rad it and though you are my cousin, I don't get the opportunity to know you very well because you guys are so far away and well... life is busy! I will read your blog to get to know you better, to love you better and to know that there are other people out there that experience the same joys and frustrations that I feel. I am so grateful for your honest, fresh and funny perspective.

I don't care one way or the other whether you separate your mommy blog from your regular blogging stuff. I would just say this... Aren't both aspects of your life intertwined? You are a mommy and that is all-encompassing. Go ahead and talk about being a mommy. We can all relate. Even if we don't have children yet, it may offer perspective and understanding for people with mothers (all of us) and the stuff they went through raising us!

Thanks for being Kristi!

You are sweet and wonderful!

Julie said...

First, I'll tell you I read your blog when I'm 'blog stalking'. I get here from my sister, Sarah Speredon's blog. (I'm her much older sister. I probably taught you when you were a sunbeam.) I read your blog because you ARE funny, and open. I think that's what it's all about. I try not to censor mine, but it's hard. I get worried when I want to write spiritual things instead of funny stuff. THen I decided it's MY blog and if people don't want to read it, they don't have to. I have been considering starting another blog for the same reason as you. The jury is still out on that one.

Julie said...

First, I'll tell you I read your blog when I'm 'blog stalking'. I get here from my sister, Sarah Speredon's blog. (I'm her much older sister. I probably taught you when you were a sunbeam.) I read your blog because you ARE funny, and open. I think that's what it's all about. I try not to censor mine, but it's hard. I get worried when I want to write spiritual things instead of funny stuff. THen I decided it's MY blog and if people don't want to read it, they don't have to. I have been considering starting another blog for the same reason as you. The jury is still out on that one.

julianne orth said...

first of all i read your blog because you make me feel normal, I sometimes wonder if everyone's life is as out of control as mine, and reading your blog makes me think that at least yours is! I blog to keep updated with my family and friends and also to share thoughts. I try not to get too opinionated because I don't want people being rude to me, some people think that is ok. my friend tessa has a mommy blog too and i think they are both fun to read, there is a link on her blog through my blog if you want to look at it. keep blogging on though, I would love to hear your engourgment stories :)

Tammy said...

Gee I wonder what you were referring to "to do" blogging drama???
In spite of what people think I blog to get the world out of my mind. Well I have two blogs one for my family history and one to
just say what I think. I pretty much don't censor (obviously) on this blog because it's a place to unload all my little issues. Lets face it I have A TON (obviously).

The thing is People are going to think what they want no matter what. I just choose not to worry about it.

Susie said...

Hi Kristi,
I love your blog! It is so good to be able to laugh at yourself, which makes all your readers ease up on themselves for doing the same kinds of things. Besides that, you really are a wonderful writer! When it comes to embarrassing/humiliating social situations, one can either humbly reach out, or miserably withdraw. Which do you think does more good?
xoxox,
Smom

Annie Banannie said...

I blog to keep in touch with people I don't normally see. I started blogging here when my best friend moved to Moab. She's back now, but moving to Moab permanently in a few weeks, so blogging, facebook, emails, and texts are pretty much our way of keeping track of each other because we're both super awkward phone talkers!
I also have a livejournal account, which I kinda like better because people have to be on my accepted friends list before they can read my stuff. It lets me be more open that way, that I can express my feelings better there and say what's going on and rant about things or people and not risk anyone reading it who I wouldn't want to read it.
I use my blogspot account for friends and family, and my livejournal is for online friends, which also helps with posting my thoughts. It's sometimes easier to open up with my feelings to people who haven't known me my entire life.
I love your blog! I was so surprised when I found the link to it on your facebook (Confession: I am a facebook stalker...and just a regular friends-stalker) because I never thought of you as the blogging type, but I am so glad you have it! I love reading about your life, I haven't seen you in years and it's a great way to keep track of you, and I have learned so much about you that I never would've known otherwise. *hugs* Keep writing!

Stefanie Miller said...

I like what Wendy said, that to read your blog is to get to know you, and to know you is to love you. Well put!!

Stefanie Miller said...

p.s. Ang had her baby. Yea!

Linds said...

I seriously LOVE your blog!!! I'm so happy that you do it and that you are so open and willing to share with us embarrassing things like pulling the underwire out of your bra! Oh my hanna! I laughed so hard at that! You really really help me to see the humorous side of life and it helps SO much to keep that in perspective! It makes life so much funner and enjoyable. It almost makes me wish that I had more embarrassing things happen to me so that I could blog about them too! Anyway... point being, I love your blog. Keep it up. You are fantastic. :)

As far as why I blog? Well, here's my secret. I'm really vain at heart. I like to share what's going on in my life and occasionally inside my head because I like other people to know what's going on (or at least have the opportunity to.) In real life, I don't just open up like I do on my blog. I pretty much keep to myself unless someone starts asking me questions which I have no problem answering or if I'm really making a concerted effort to make a new friend. So I like the blog because then whoever is interested can keep up with the goings on in my life and I don't have to "open up" about it every time I see them (or feel guilty because I don't.) I think it's actually strengthening my relationships with some family members because it gives us things to talk about when we see each other that may not have come up otherwise.

As far as censoring... yes, I do censor. I have a few members of my immediate family who are atheist (formerly LDS) who I really want to have a close relationship with and so as weird as it sounds, I censor spiritual stuff. I don't write a lot about God or my faith or my testimony because I'm hoping that by just sharing what's going on in my life that those things shine through my example. I don't want them to gag on my blog and be so turned off by it that they don't want to read it. I keep a personal journal that is STOCKED full of spiritual stuff, my testimony, etc etc etc. Anyway... bla bla bla... I "talk" too much! :)