Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Good as dead.

I read an article this morning on "15 surprising reasons you may live longer than you think". I've got news for them, those 15 reasons surprised me, mostly because I didn't qualify for very many. So say your goodbyes and be really nice to me, because I am on a downhill ride my friends. Wouldn't you know I couldn't find the article again when I went looking for it, but here's what I remember.

#1: If you were born before your mom was 25 you are twice as likely to live to 100, did you know that?

My mom was thirty eight. All those prime eggs had been gone for years by the time I made my late entrance. Strike #1. And as a side note, good thing I am getting all of my kids here quick, eh?

#2 You drink red wine and eat lots of blueberries. No to the wine and I don't know that I've ever actually had a blueberry, are they good? I guess I am supposed to be eating a cup a day of them.

#3 You don't drink soda. Whoop-sie. I heart cherry-coke. And Dr. Pepper. And especially Mr. Pibb.

#4 You walk thirty minutes a day. I walk up the stairs and then have to take a thirty minute power nap...so really the whole process takes thirty one minutes, does that count?

Oh man, that's like all I can remember. There were like seven more that were bad. There were a couple that were good though. ..
*If you went to at least one year of college (woohoo!) apparently people who went to one year of school live 18 months longer than those who don't-- so while you feel like you are wasting your life studying, don't worry, you'll get that time back when you are playing bingo in the retirement home, totally worth it!

*If you don't eat a lot of read meat (thank you pregnancy!).

*If you have skinny friends (anyone every seen a picture of Ralphie? Let's just say I call her "Twiggy") . Except I am not 100% sure that my skinny friend one counts because this particular skinny friend has upped by butter consumption by like ten thousand percent since I have known her. So that may be a strike against me.

*Oh and if you were a healthy weight teen. Why yes, I was. Then I got married and that ruined everything (see post:portion distortion).

What was funny was that the last one was that you live longer if you feel good about yourself. I usually do feel pretty good about myself, but I guess reading that article knocked like five years off of my lifespan, thanks a lot!


Janssen said...

I wonder what it is that makes some people look particularly thin. Like Ralphie and I are almost the same height and weigh almost the exact same amount, but I don't think I look nearly as thin as she does. Pshh.

Kristi said...

Yes and for those of you who haven't seen Janssen she is a heaping pile o' lard : ) Just kidding, twiggy as well. So is Meleah. So is everyone of my friends here, but again with Janssen, more chocolate in my diet due to her. Can't win with these skinny friends.

Blaine said...

Very nice post although I don't agree to never drinking pop again. I don't really put all that much stock in lists like this. For one thing, it is a whole lot harder to show cause and effect than correlation. But anyway my favorite was the thought that we'll get the time we spent in college back playing bingo in a rest home. I always knew it would be worth it!

Rose Bud said...

Kristi...when are you going to start writing a post for some famous newspaper somewhere. You are hilarious...and informative! Who knew that increasing my blueberry intake would add a few years....I am totally drinking more of those delicious naked drinks, they are delicious and have bluberries in them. But really I always love your posts, I read them when I need a good laugh. Sure miss you guys!

Ralphie said...

Tell Janssen that it's because I have long arms.

Oh, and I want to start a company that prints t-shirts with the slogan "My name is Ralphie and I'm a butteraholic."

I think I could go nation wide.

Sarah said...

never had a blueberry? really?

Jan said...

(My mom was thirty eight. All those prime eggs had been gone for years by the time I made my late entrance. Strike #1. And as a side note, good thing I am getting all of my kids here quick, eh?)

Have you ever heard the expression
better late than never? *Ü*

Blaine said...

I agree with you, mom (Jan). I'm just glad Kris got to come at all.

Rosey, wow. You won't pay for music on iTunes but you buy Naked juice for like 50 cents/ounce? For how alike everyone says we are, we really have different priorities in our spending! :)