Monday, July 30, 2007

Are you flushing now?

A few weeks ago there was a girls night out in our ward. One of my friends mentioned that her most embarrassing moment involved her son announcing as they walked through the waiting room at her OBGYN, "I am so proud of you that you peed in that cup mommy." It sounded eerily familiar to me as she was telling me about it, but I just figured we had talked about it before or something.

I had her little story on the brain when I went to my last OB appt. I wasn't really feeling my personal best as I headed off to the appointment. I had been sporting a large zit on my nose for several days, that combined with the fact that I bust buttons on maternity clothes and have chosen a maintenance free lifestyle (I do not fix my hair or wear makeup) made for a killer combination. I looked more like Beetle Juice than Geena Davis, we'll put it that way. So I swallowed my pride and tried to at least cover the monster zit in makeup, which just made it look weirder, oh well, I am sure Dakota Fanning has her zit days too (and since I look like her I am justified, right?).

When it was my turn to pee in the cup I realized why my friends story had sounded so familiar. We get into the bathroom and Gwen starts with-- and this is not in her inside voice-- "Okay, you put your bum right there, and I will get you a cup". "Are you putting your name on the cup mommy?" "Okay mommy, you sit there and do your wets and I will wait and then I could flush for you". "Are you doing your wets in the cup mommy?". "Oh GOOD GIRL mommy, I can hear your wets" "Now are you wiping your wets mommy?" "Good job mommy! Good job doing your wets in the cup. YOU DID IT!". "Wash your hands mommy!" I am completely confident that anyone within a thirty foot radius of the bathroom (this includes two nurses stations and several patient rooms) has heard it all. It was then that I realized that I just don't embarrass about stuff like that easily.

Now junior high school and using self tanning lotion to write "Bryce" on my leg, which leg was fully viewable during the gym class that I shared with Bryce, now that kind of thing is embarrassing to me. Thanks heavens for being married. I bet Blaine would think it was sweet if I emblazoned his name on my leg in self-tanning lotion :).


Janssen said...

That's hilarious! I think Gwen is just SO cute.

Blaine said...

Wow, I love getting to know you better through your blog. Why don't I ever hear these stories when I get home?