Well folks, the seatbelt is fastened, I have climbed to the top of the tower and there is nothing I can do now to stop the ride before I go crashing down the hill and through the corkscrew turns and loops and ups and downs. For all of my complaining I am finally close enough to having the baby that the time is going by fast and I can't figure out why I didn't spend my time cleaning and organizing instead of complaining the last nine months.
It is really interesting how similar I feel now to how I did right before Gwen was born. Before Gwen was born I started realizing that it was my last few days in all of ETERNITY that I would not be a mother, it was a weird feeling and as excited as I was for a new chapter in life, I was a little sad to kiss my previous life goodbye. I figured it might be a little different this go around because we already have a kid, I am already a stay-at-home mom, what's the difference adding one more to the brood? But there is a difference. For the last three years it has been Blaine, Gwen and I. We've moved across the country together (um, five times!), we've really grown a lot and shared a lot of laughs and tears. We have our little traditions and family jokes. I know we will still have things like that, but it will never be the same dynamic that we currently have. Gwen, or any of our other kids for that matter, will never get as much attention as she has the last three years. She is going to be sharing the show. Don't get me wrong though, I am sure that "the more the merrier" holds true as far as having kids. Maybe not while they are little, but at least hopefully when it comes time for them to pool their money together to put Blaine and I in a nice retirement home :).
It just feels weird to know that the days of it being just the three of us are dwindling down. For all I know I could go into labor tonight and I would have spent my last day with just Gwen and I without even realizing or appreciating it.
Still searching for a name. . . .