Let the punishment fit the crime, that's what I always say. And that is also what they say in the Love & Logic parenting book.
Gwen was completely and fully potty trained for a good year, and now all of the sudden (well for the last several months) Gwen has been peeing in her panties. ALL the time. It's been a really frustrating thing. I've tried a number of punishments, rewards, etc. and nothing works. I even had her wear diapers again which was a complete and utter failure.
So today she is doing laundry. Well, today I am trying to have her do laundry. She is about halfway down the stairs with her basket. Already she bumped her foot which apparently has made it so she will "never be able to walk again". And at first she wouldn't even try to help (because she doesn't want to do laundry until she is a mommy), so I had her sit on a stool until she felt like doing the laundry. She told me she wouldn't do it until she grew up so I told her she would have to sit on her stool until she grew up and wouldn't that be awful to have to get married while sitting on a little stool in your room? Her bigger fear was having to sit there during the whole night.
Anyway, it may take me all day to get her to do it, but it seems like a fair thing. If she goes through three pairs of panties and three pairs of pants in one day then she ought to be the one to do the laundry. Not all of the laundry, just hers. I'm not that rude.
It is kind of nice seeing what a hard time she is having, makes me feel a bit like superwoman when I do five loads of laundry in a single day.
And lest you think I am a horrible mother, I have offered to help her (she helps me do laundry all of the time) but man, it is killing me to see her reaction she really really REALLY doesn't want to do it. Which is funny because helping me do laundry is one of her favorite things.
Kids. Sheesh.
Any other ideas for helping her with this little problem if the laundry idea doesn't pan out?
11 comments:
You can't back down now. You would be doing her a disservice to back down now and rescind your threat. Besides, it IS fitting. Very fitting. However, you can come back to the situation being the "good cop," and tell her, "Look, Gwen, I really hate seeing you sitting there all day. I don't want to make you sit there, but I HAVE to, because you are refusing to cooperate. Now, I will show you exactly how to do it (and it's even kinda fun!), and then we can all be one happy family again!"
I like Angela's comment with its added sympathy. Sometimes a bit of sympathy can go a long way. . . and I agree 100% with the rest of it. I would, however, want to make a discreet call to the doctor's office. In good little girls who have been dry for a year it can be a symptom of something else. DO NOT let that cause you to feel symptoms of horrendous guilt, however. Just call the doctor (if you haven't already) and put my mind at ease!
Love,
Smom
Definitely good advice Smom. I figured it was just a reaction to the baby being born, which seemed strange because she hadn't really reacted when Bentley was born. We'll give this a shot and then talk to the doctor. It is interesting because she tell us why...and it is usually because she was too busy, or because she saw someone else (at preschool) hadn't flushed the toilet, but sometimes there is no reason. Good advice all around..
She eventually did do the laundry and halfway through started thinking it was really fun and easy. Crazy girl : )
Do you have that Love and Logic book? Can I borrow it if you do?
You are totally on the right track! Good work, rock star mom!!
I went through this for THREE YEARS with Lily. The doctor just kept saying it was a faze. They'd test her pee and that was fine. She would be really good for a couple weeks then go back to having accidents again. I tried everything too (except the laundry idea), rewards worked for short periods, punishments and getting mad never seemed to work. She always had an excuse and I was sick of dealing with it. She couldn't even make it the three hours of kindergarten without an accident! So the doctor finally put her on some medication about a month ago. Lily hated the medicine so I'd have to chop it up and mix it in her food, but it was so worth it! All of a sudden she was a different girl. She said she didn't want the medicine, so we cut the dose in half, then stopped it all together. In the last month she's only had one accident and no bed wetting! I think what the medicine did was train her body to know what it's suppose to feel like, and now she can control it on her own! So I have total sympathy for you. Good luck with Gwen.
i hope it works for you! keep it up :) you are a great mom.
Fids, I had that problem as a child-- not because I was lazy or rebellious---anyway a long drwan out medical story later, like your friends said, you may want to have her checked out.
I think that's a great idea...will have to remember that.
I think talking to the doctor is a good idea, too. Instead of writing it here, call me and we will talk about it because I have a thought.
Hey, my niece was having this problem, and she was 6; my sister-in-law didn't find out until her teacher told her that she kept having accidents at school. Poor Toria kept it a secret because she was so embarrassed. They tried everything too, punishments and everything, finally took her to the doctor who suggested it could be the muscles around her bladder or something, gave her a liquid medicine that she takes every day and it was like an overnight difference. I'll check on the name and get back to you. Good luck! (ps they had just had another baby and that's what they thought it was also. . .)
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