Our ward was split last week, the new boundary goes right down the road that separates my house from Ralphie's. It's very sad. I am sure, however, that our friendship will survive. But to all of my friends who were considering moving to Austin and knew for a surety that they wanted to be in this ward, now they face a tough decision....my ward or Ralphie's ward. In honor of that tough decision I thought I would make things a little easier on you...
10 Reasons I am a Better Friend than Ralphie...
1- You won't be embarrassed to post pictures of your children or hang up pictures of your children in your home that you took with your own camera.
exhibit A (Ralphie's photo of Gwen)
please see exhibit B (my photo)
2- I won't fatten you up with calorie laden, delicious desserts as an evil ploy to make you join the gym with me. (she is tricky folks, she'll even invite you over for dinner and then serve buttermilk butterscotch pancakes.)
3- You'll get to be the one who looks good in pictures
well, most of the time you will. Sometimes we will look about the same (but you'll still be skinnier, especially if I keep reproducing at my current rate).
4-I won't introduce you to delicious new restaurants where you can get the best (and most fattening) bowl of soup for only $1.99, which will cause you to crave it nightly, and daily, and always and further my recruiting efforts to get you to the gym. Likewise I will also not take you out to really extravagant places and addict you to them as well. Under my friendship we will go to chick-fil-a and split a kids meal, and you will pay. And I will probably mooch an ice cream cone off of you. Thus leading us to go out rarely if ever, saving you lots of money and calories, making me a good friend.
5- I have never, nor will I ever have a crush on Nicholas Cage.
6- Your children will likely not become addicted to my children and if they do it's okay because my daughter will not be going to kindergarten until TWO years from now.
7- I'll give you a leapfrog book for every holiday that comes around!
Okay okay, I don't have any reasons at all that I am a better person than Ralphie (except, I am probably on to something with the Nicholas Cage comment!). She's a great friend and if I were you I would choose her ward. Especially because I think she might be the new RS President, she seems in angst about something :). Anyway, here's to Ralph....a great friend, and an even better primary chorister. It was good while it lasted.... ;) And always remember....zip it. lock it. Put it in your pocket.
10 comments:
I think Janssen mentioned that she is no longer in Ralphie's ward, which I am assuming means she is in your ward? 2 to 1. I choose you. And Janssen.
Whew, glad Kayla already said what I was thinking - I think I may tip the scales slightly in favor of the RR ward, seeing as we alone may not be as awesome as Ralphie, but together we must certainly be close.
you are all hilarious! i am glad that i got ralphie, but sad that we didn't get you kristi or janssen. they had to make the ward evenly as cool so they couldn't have you all in the same ward!! did that makes sense?? hmmm....i really am tired!!
Kristi, you are hilarious!!! Luckily I can be friends with both of you!! :) I have to say I am a little biased about this side of the split :)
And just so you all know the history between the picture on post #4, I was trying to look like Ralphie (sucking in) and she was trying to fatten up to look like me. I had just had a baby, so it's okay that I call myself fat :)
Too too too too too too too too too (should I keep going?) funny!!
Oh Kris. I love ya. Thanks for making me laugh and making my day. I will always try to be a better friend to you than you are to me.
...wait. Did that come out wrong?
I mean, chocolate desserts will flow like wine.
I look forward to reading your post you are a total crack up. Keep-um coming!
Love,
Flipper
I will certainly take this into consideration if we wind up in Round Rock. I mean, you are the one who is my friend but if we move over there I just might want to be in Ralphie's ward just so I can get to know her. She does sound fun! =)
Oh my word. You are so stinkin' funny, Kristi. Pee my pants funny.
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