"The Experiment"

For the first four and a half years of our married life, Blaine and I were a one car family. Our 1998 Chrysler Cirrus saw us through the best of times and the worst of times. There were times when I was working two jobs, Blaine one and both of us going to school. Our car was tried and true and rarely had problems (except when we moved far away from my mechanically inclined brothers-- then it had a couple problems, but hardly worth complaining about). It was a pretty slick machine when I bought it in 2001; leather interior, five disc changer, sun roof, clean. After six years of ownership (three of those with a child), two moves across the country, and a need for a little more flexibility we decided we would like to have an additional car.

So in April of this year we found a shiny 2007 Honda Accord that we could lease for a phenomenal deal. Then something happened. Starting the day we got the Accord we started realizing some major differences between the two cars. As we drove the Honda home I commented on how great the lights were, then I realized, I hadn't even turned them on yet! When I turned on the headlights---whoaaa, it was like a whole 'nother world, it was like driving in the day! No wonder not everyone in the world was scared to drive after 8PM. Then I noticed that the road looked funny and my eyes were having a hard time focusing. Later I realized this was because our Chrysler had a scratch across the windshield (caused somehow by the windshield wipers, so it was rainbow shape) that was right in my line of vision, but my eyes had adjusted to it so well that now, looking through a regular scratch-free windshield, my vision was impaired. The next time I drove the old Chrysler I almost killed myself because the darn thing wouldn't stop! The brakes were so callous! In the Honda you just had to lightly tap the brakes and you would immediately stop. In the Chrysler you had to have about a half a mile and a lead foot. The Chrysler emits weird smells and randomly shoots smoke out the tailpipe etc.

Was our old car just falling apart, or was it only now, when we had something nice and new to compare it to, that it seemed inadequate?

I thought about that a lot this weekend. Blaine's recently married brother, Nick, came with his cute wife Stef to stay with us for the weekend. There was a lot of hugging, kissing, snuggling, whispering, giggling, tickling going on their part as they were just married three months ago. When we went swimming they splashed and played together while Blaine and I just checked each other occasionally for boogies dangling out our noses. Blaine and Nick went for a run together and Nick brought Stef back a little flower; Blaine brought me back his sweat drenched clothes to wash :). All the sudden I found myself feeling like my marriage was lacking. Just like the Chrysler. But, why didn't I feel that way before this weekend?

It was interesting enough to think about, then we had a Relief Society lesson that was prepared for me specifically (or so it seemed). The guilty taketh the truth to be hard, and I had a hard time sitting through that lesson while also remembering my thoughts and feelings from the weekend.

So, I have made a little challenge for myself this week, and I don't want to talk too much about it until the week is over, at that time I will give a report and let you all know how it went. Until then, let it be known that I have a great marriage and of course I am happy. The Chrysler is still a great car-- it's tried and true. It has 180,000 miles instead of only 3,000, but it has taken us through a lot of good times, a lot of ups and downs, and though it has needed the occasional belt replacement or new battery-- it has never failed us. It's not as fun and new to drive, but if we get a different car in a couple of years I can bet that the Honda won't seem as fun to drive as the next new car, etc.

Anyway, I am sure this is not the world's best analogy but the point is this: Our marriage may not be as cute and romantic. We sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and I can't lay my head on Blaine's shoulder because it hurts his arm, and I am not a big fan of kissing (weird I know) BUT I can trust Blaine with anything, my life, my trials, my despairs, anything, we are so much a part of each other that sometimes I can't tell where he stops and I start. We've truly become a "we" and that didn't happen overnight-- it happened somewhere along the 180,000 mile drive we have taken to get here. And unlike the Chrysler --- I look forward to hundreds of thousands of more miles of happy times and sad with my Blaine.