Sleeping with the Enemy

In the late hours of the night, or perhaps even the wee hours of the morning this morning, I became aware of a presence in our room. This happens every morning, but this was way too early to be the same presence I was used to. Since my muscles lacked the strength I had to pry my weary eyelid open with my finger to see if I was just "feeling" the presence or if it was actually there. I was greeted with "Good Mouring!" (not a typo). Whoa. No way, not yet. I could swear Blaine had just crawled into bed no more than half an hour ago. I didn't have the will power to get up and look at the clock, but the darkness outside let me know that it couldn't be much past 12 or 1 AM.

"What the. . . Go to your bed!" I grumbled. "It's mouring time!" a cheerful voice responded. "No, it's nighttime, go to sleep" I shot back. "In a few minutes it will be mouring time!" She never lost an ounce of cheerfulness, despite my own frustration and grogginess. Finally I offered her a hand and she climbed up into bed. I have her trained that when she comes in our room she has to stay in our bed until "Daddy's music" (alarm clock) goes off. Usually this is just about five minutes, not seven hours, but it was worth a shot. She curled up close to me and wrapped her arms around me. What a schmooze, she knows my weak spot. I shook Blaine awake and ordered him to take her back to her room. "But Mommy, I want to lay by YOU!" I felt so loved and the frustration seeped out of my body. She wanted to be by me! She was playing her cards right and I decided I would let her stay.

I put my arms around her (happy to have someone to cuddle with), and she closed her sweet little eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was really precious. . . for about three minutes. We were facing the fan that I have to point directly into my face in order to not die of heat stroke at night. All of the sudden her beautiful corn-silk hair was tickling my nose, then covering my whole face. I tried to brush it away, but it was back immediately. How could something so beautiful be so irritating (her hair, not her). Finally it was too much. I knew that I could not handle life without the fan, so I tried to roll her over me and convince her to go sleep with Blaine. This was a mistake.

This woke her up of her angelic sleep and turned her into a monster; a monster who was screaming because she wanted to sleep by me, not Blaine. Finally I talked her into being in the middle. Before I knew it she was asleep again, but she must have been dreaming about karate class because I got walloped and kicked and poked in the eyeballs. We tossed and turned and tried to defend ourselves but we could not calm the sleeping beast. Finally she found a position she liked-- laying with her feet pressed against Blaine's head and her head pressed against her "little brother" , this pushed the little brother into my small bladder (which I had recently trained to only fill up twice during the night instead of ten times). When I got back from the bathroom there was no room for me in our bed, our KING sized bed.

Why didn't I move her back to her bed? Well, #1 because she gains ten pounds in her sleep and I lose half my strength, not a good combo, I am sure I would have dropped her and as bad as she was in her sleep, it was worse when she was awake and wanting to be entertained! I squished her spring like body close to Blaine and popped in my bed just before she sprang back into the sprawled out position. What a nutcase.

I remember my parents telling me about me doing the same thing to them, I could hardly believe a sweet little person like myself would be capable of sleeping like that, guess I was wrong! She may look like a sweet little Blaine, but deep inside there is a spunky, karate chopping, eye poking little Kristi waiting for moments to break free!